READ↓ Hi. Please read my last two posts and comment about what you think! I need some constructive criticism!

Her Darkness-Part 2 Jamie's room looked exactly the same as it always did the night of the Mass. Everything was organized, just as she liked it. Everything was there but her. I sat on her bed. It still smelled like her. I looked at her desk, still had her stuff across it. I didn't know what to think. I knew I would never see Jamie again. I would never see her smile. I would never hear her perfect laugh. My thoughts were scattered when my mom called my name. "Piper! Come on!" I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Come on, Piper. We're leaving." We buckled into our seats of Mom's old car. The Mass was only 3 miles away at the local church, as in the only church in town. Our town was very small, only one of nearly everything. One beauty parlor, one gas station, one super market, and one school. It was like something out of the 50's. Everyone knew everyone. That's how everybody knew about Jamie. We got out of the car, and I was still in thought. We were the first ones to go inside, but nearly five minutes later people filed in, greeting my mom, uncle, and aunt. I was noticeably quiet, but my mom said nothing. Lydia and her family walked in. She walked up to me quietly and solemnly. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, tears in her eyes. Her long brown hair draped in front of her face, the rest down her back. Her black dress fit her perfectly, neatly brushing her knee caps. "Yeah, me too," I said, tears in my eyes. She hugged me tightly, and we both were near tears. Lydia and I stepped outside on the church steps, into the brisk spring air. She had been my best friend since pre-school. We sat there watching cars go by, no one speaking. "We don't have to talk about it," Lydia said, shattering the silence. I kept watching the cars. "I don't know why she did it," I spoke my thoughts aloud. My eyes stung with tears. Lydia put her arm around me. "I'm so sorry. I know how you feel," she said in her comforting voice. I stood up. "No you don't! No one knows! You never had anyone pass away much less take their own #life!" I screamed. People at the stop light stared. I didnt care. I just wanted to feel better. "Sit down, please. Piper," Lydia begged. She was hurt by my words. I could see it in her eyes. I was distracted when the police pulled into the church parking lot. I tensed up as they walked closer, only two of them. One had a stern look on his face, the other the same, holding a stack of papers. One gave me a paper and the other stapled one to the church door. The bulky guy handed me the papers. I looked down. It was Garrett's face. "Have you seen this boy?" _____________________ PLEASE READ: I NEED CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!!! What do u think? Please comment! Ready for part 3?

Her Darkness: Part 1 No one knew why she did it. But one day, I walked in from the bus and she was just there. My sister. She was just dead. She was laying in her room, all still and pale. She had an odd color to her face. I couldn't believe what was going on. "Jamie! Jamie wake up!" I shouted. I shook her. I screamed. She didn't move. She was dead. I ran down the kitchen. I picked up the phone. I didn't know what to do. What does someone do when they find a dead sister in their house? I decided to call 9-1-1. Long story short, I called 9-1-1. The ambulance and police came. And they asked me questions. I couldn't talk over the sobs and tears. "I just walked up to her room and she was dead!" I cried. Mom came home and cried. She went to her room for days and cried. She didn't come out for 3 days. She barely ate for three days. I did the same. You see, Jamie was a straight A, perfect, beautiful girl. At 15, she was on the high-school cheer team and had a boyfriend, Garrett, the quarterback for the team. She was the favorite kid, naturally. And I was not a good child. I was in 8th grade when this happened. I made bad grades and was late for class. I snuck out late at night for about anything. That was me, the awful and dreaded Piper. My aunt blamed the death on me. I called my sister something unrepeatable the night before Jamie's death. Truth be told, Jamie purposely over-dosed on Mom's sleep pills. Police found Jamie's diary and found that she was depressed because she found that Garrett had cheated on her. That was kept inside the family away from the media. We all knew Garrett's father was a lawyer. No information was leaked. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY. PLEASE COMMENT IF I SHOULD WRITE A SECOND PART!!! thanks

☁ Here I am crying All alone on the cold floor Hoping you find me Have you forgotten my name I have cried for hours While youre hundred miles away Abandonment hurts You don't even care about me I tried to tell you And now this girls moving on

Bad rhyme About Opuss Although my writing isnt the best I'm trying to get better than the rest It may sound selfish Sound full of greed It may sound foolish Yet I enjoy Opuss indeed