Ode To My Teenage Torso As I stand here in the shower, my reflection staring back at me, I think again on days gone by, on where my six pack used to be. As a cocky seventeen year old, I was toned and strong and trim, a physique quickly dispatched with, by pints, filled to the brim. You see my college years have come and gone, a haze of beer and mischief, to be replaced by orders, thick and fast, responsibility, I have to live with. As I sit here in my towel, questioning #life and my existence, I spy fresh rolls of flabbiness, poking fun at me, relentless. Why not join the gym?, go for a run?, a host of options face me, "please let us stay, we'll do no harm", my friendly folds say softly. So as I mourn my faded abs, my muscular boyhood self, I wonder should I hit the gym? Oh, is that a new Xbox game on the shelf? #ByeByeMuscles

The Fortune-Teller As I sat in the dimly-lit waiting room of the fortune-teller's shack for my friend to re-emerge, I felt a growing sense of unease build in me. I had just finished my session, leaving me well and truly shaken, but how? Fortune-tellers were mere scam-artists, intent on fooling naive, middle-class people such as myself out of a few hours wages....weren't they? I had taken part solely to silence the jibes of my friend, accusing me of being a scared cynic. Cynic I may have been, but I felt as nervous as I had in some time, sitting there chewing my nails to their base. "I'll give her a quick call, just to put me at ease", I thought to myself. I even allowed myself a quick chuckle at how ridiculous I sounded. A couple of minutes prior to this, the fortune-teller had told me, in no uncertain terms, that I would cause the death of my mother. At that, I stormed out, infuriated. The call rang, once, twice.....ringing out eventually, leaving my heart beating almost out of my chest. As my friend left the fortune-tellers room, laughing quietly and thanking her for the great news, I grabbed her hand, almost frantically: "We need to go, now". "What's wrong man? You look crazy?!". "I just have to get home", I muttered, "I've had enough of this place". As we drove home, my mind jumped to every sort of ridiculous conclusion possible. I'd never hurt my mother, would I?! As we approached my house, the ominous flicker of blue lights greeted us like a punch to the lungs. Police cars and an ambulance parked in the driveway injected more fear into me than I thought physically possible. As panicked thoughts flooded my head, my brother met me at the front door with two policemen. "What in god's name is happening?!", I blurted out, barely able to speak. "It's mom", he croaked, "the phone rang ten minutes ago....". "No....", was all I could utter. "She was upstairs and must have ran to answer it, you know how her hip is. The ambulance man said it would have been over quickly, her neck was broken in a second". The fortune teller was right. I had killed my mother. #HalloweenParty #Setting