One Tear Every time I'm trying to make myself feel happy Pretending to be fine and act like nothing happened When I talk to her or him It seems like I'm too chatty Talking about one thing and then another If they don't get it then I have to say don't worry Iv been stress, upset, depress and not happy I'm fed up pretending that I'm ok when I'm not I get poked, offence and let down with certain shock My heart pump so fast and slow down with tears traveling down from my eyes Wipe it clean and say I'm alright No, it doesn't work that way I burst into more tears and pretend everything is ok Close my eyes and think There is always a way to figure it out But sometimes it's not how I planned it Things get even worse and doesn't get sorted out I try to stop the pain and the fear But I have to let it go even one with one tear I have to stick with what's on my mind I sometimes need to be alone Talk to myself about leaving things behind Doing this all on my own I push away everything that I need to hold close But I let go and keep the door close I have Emotions, feelings and a #life to make right Always been told to stand under a bright light I need to do what's best for me So things can be ok But something keeps getting in the way Voices keep annoying me with all words that need to be said I rather listen to my own mouth talking Instead of listening to what's been said Iv always blame myself for certain things I could not blame her or him for anything I don't want to make same old mistakes I just like sitting down and see what ever it takes Looking back at what iv done I know for the fact, it's not how i wanted things to run Iv tried to be happy,good and always smile but that does not always happen I want to leave and run a mile But I need to think what could happen I just sit down and start to cry And knowing I didn't lie I shouldn't be giving up, I should be carrying on Thinking it's easy but i know it takes long Iv tried so hard, my best and to work things out But there is something or someone there blowing my light out I always look from right to left And walk away step by step Iv always been told to follow my path Sometimes I go the wrong way Letting my belly grumble and start to starve Iv been hurt, in pain, heart broken and no one seem to care When I tried so hard and nothing seem to be fair My eyes turn red, and still running with tears I just get scared and express my fears Iv always thought I have no one, nobody, or anyone to talk to I thought to myself, talking to myself ain't gonna help I should always remember there are people here for me too And not just sitting there all by myself I talk to my bestfriends, close friends and see who I trust To ask him or her for advise We talk things through and come up with something nice Things they say, place a smile on my face When things come back to me, that I don't want to hear I have to put up with it and let go with one more tear I then move on and I hope it doesn't come back I have no time to wait, to sit, or to rest for the pain to attack Some times it's hard, harder than what I thought The pain comes back and I cry hoping I don't get caught