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Jordo66

I'm Jordan.Someday I aspire to be one of two things.And an author is the second one....

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Jordo66
ترجم   منذ 13 سنوات

The Great Flood PaddyIrishMan,PaddyEnglishMan,and PaddyScottishMan heard that God was angry at the people of the modern world and was going to create another great flood. But the three of them were very holy,and knew (or thought) that god would save them. So they waited outside the town hall for the rain to start-while everyone else was rushing around in a panic to escape. So,the rain began to pour and as it was up to their ankles the Irish pulled up in the car. "Quick!Hop in!",they said. So,losing his faith,PaddyIrishMan hopped in but the other two refused and said, "NO.God will save us!" So the car drove off leaving the two of them standing in the rain. A while later,when the water was up to their wrists,the English approached in a speedboat. "Jump in!",they ordered."We'll save you!" So,agreeing,PaddyEnglishMan waded over to them and was helped in. "NO!"PaddyScottish man said stubbornly. "God will save me!" So the boat drove off leaving a lonely,soaked PaddyScottishMan waist-deep in rainwater. Shortly after,just as the water had reached PaddyIrishMan's neck,a helicopter flew by overhead,and a rope ladder was thrown down. "GRAB ON!"a Scottish man yelled down through the stormy sky,"We'll save you!!!" But PaddyScottishMan held his ground. "NO!!!",he shouted in return."GOD WILL SAVE ME!!!" So the rope ladder was hoisted back up and the helicopter flew off out of sight. But the rain kept pouring down relentlessly,causing the water to keep rising dangerously fast. And,soon enough, The water rose over PaddyScottishMan's head and,'unfortunately' (it might be important to mention that he can't swim ) he drowned. So he arrived in heaven, Soaking wet and equally mad,he stormed up to God and bellowed, "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE MEEEEE!!!" So,shocked,God leaned forward and explained smugly.... "I sent you a CAR,a BOAT and,a BLOODY HELICOPTER! WHAT more could you ask for?!?!?"

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    ترجم   منذ 13 سنوات

    The Other Guys Terry Hoitz: No, I don't like you. I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend. Allen Gamble: OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring. Terry Hoitz: How you gonna do that? Allen Gamble: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned. [pause] Allen Gamble: Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.

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      ترجم   منذ 13 سنوات

      A.R.M.Y "He won't be creating a revolution....He'll be creating an EVOLUTION" Nikolai Vochevsky is a mad man,with equally mad plans. Ever since his disavowal with his involvement in suspicious actions of treason,he has wiped off the face of the earth, But he's back,with a vengeance, But a fiery desire for revenge is not all he has to his name. He is in the possession of an all new form of nuclear missile. Twice as fast,twice as explosive,twice as big, And twice the devastation.... And it's up to a special hand picked team of collaborating S.A.S and U.N.S.C operatives to stop him. With their carefully laid plan,collection of advanced troops,and diverse and original weaponry,nothing could go wrong. But a master plan,can be stopped by a mastermind....

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