Day 4, Why Am I Even Friends With You Seriously every day it's something new, like making me feel guilty about not being there for her, seriously though, who is there for me. Like how can everyone expect me to be so fucking strong for them, when know one can put aside there hell #life to be there for me. Like its to the point that when she told me she's clinically depressed I just want to smack her and tell her to grow the fuck up, look around we are all fucking clinically depressed, every single one of us, we just aren't all dramatic about it like you are. I met up with my ex because know one is there for me. Seriously dude, get the fuck over yourself. I'm so done with this, so done, I never understood what getting treated like crap was until this, she doesn't even care that in breaking down everything is about her all the time, why do you think I'm writing this stupid thing, to get all my venting out. Sorry for my rant I just want to scream from the top of my lungs. Fucking retarded. Upside met up with an old friend tonight, was fun yay Until next time Jodie xoxoxo

Day 2+3 Hey, sorry I didn't write yesterday. I just had a boring day I guess. Anyways. My rant for today comes from dealing with one of my friends, I swear in her world, she is the only one that can have a shitty day, a shitty week month or year, for once in my #life I would like it to be about me, why can't she st suck up her own drama so that she can listen to me, she is supposed to be my best friend. Are best friends supposed to treat you like you don't matter to them whatsoever. All I have been hearing about is how shitty her #life is, how she is an alcoholic how her mom sucks, how she's stupid. You know what the worst part about it is, is that she has something that I want so bad, and she's just fucking it up. You know my #life sucks too why can't I ever just have a day where my #life can be shitty and I can deal with my own god damn problems without have to worry about pussy footing around her so I don't hurt her oh so delicate feelings. I'm going freaking crazy here, over the last 6 months things have been shit for me, for Christs sakes I got fired from the family business, how the hell do you get fired from something you helped create, I've been raped, but no her #life comes before me being pinned down and having my clothes ripped off me, awesome friend I have. Any how on the other front, my child and potty training, I am so failing. It's hard being a single mom and somewhat completely clueless especially when it comes to boys. He will not sleep in his own bed, it annoyed be at first I liked having my own bed, but now that he's gone to his dads for 5 days I miss him being in my bed with me, I kind of liked having a little man to snuggle up to. I guess some more little drama going on is Justin, someone who I gave my heart to and he just ripped it out like it was nothing and he didn't care, I was never good enough for him, I was good enough to fuck him though, as he proved, by texting me whenever he wants a hook up, think he will ever get the point when every time he calls I say no. He has no Idea how much I wanna crumble at his feet in hopes that we can live happily ever after. It's never going to happen, kind of like me never going to be his sex buddy. Dads out of town, Benjamin's with his dad, and it's just me and mama, we love our girl time. My posts a little everywhere today, sorry. LOVE YOU ALL<3 JODIE XXXX

Wow, my #life really has become somewhat dramatic, but is it really my #life, or the #life of my best friend, who I used to live through but now I just want to shake my head at her. Sometimes she can be so hypocritical of everyone and everything, although I guess I can be too. Judge her mom for drinking everyday, yet she also drinks every day, why what's the point, can someone please explain to me the need to drink every time something doesn't go perfectly your way. I guess being my first blog, or chapter I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Jodie, I'm 20 will be 21 in April, when I was 15 I started using drugs, ecstasy and cocaine, I started dating a drug dealer. I thought my #life was awesome, I had friends a boyfriend that loved me I was happy, or so I thought, apparently at 15 know one really knows what real love is, I got cheated on, but I was to dumb to do anything about it, and so started the dumb cycle of that relationships lies betrayal. After two years, being arrested for drug dealing, and a lot of drug use I finally got out of the relationship that everyone in my family had a hatred for. As much as I hate that part of my #life, it lead me to #life I live now, 4 years clean of drugs, a beautiful 2.5 yearold son named Benjamin, the love and respect for and received by my parents and the future that I am taking for myself. My ultimate goal, through all of this is to show anyone reading, that being a young mom isn't a bad thing, it's hard but it's worth it, not everyone is bad that people change, and hopefully follow me through trying to find the man of my dreams and accomplishing school! Love you all, Jodie<3