Patient: I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum Doctor: I've got some cream for that

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

Birthday Gift Wife treats Hubby by taking him to a strip club for his b'day.. At the club - Doorman: Hey Jim! How r u? Wife: How does he know u? Jim: We play Golf! Barman: The usual Jim? Wife: and hw does he knws u? Jim: He's on the Darts Team! Lap Dancer: The special again Jim? The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi.. Driver: Hey Jimmy boy..Same Hotel? Lame lol

Only You Only you I choose among the entire world Is it fair of you! Letting me be unhappy? My heart is a pen in your hand It is all up to you to write me happy or sad I see only what you reveal And live as you say All my feelings have the colour You desire to paint From beginning to the end No one but you Please make my future better than the past When you hide I change To a Godless person When you appear I find my faith Don't expect to find anymore on me than what you give Don't search for hidden pockets because I have shown you that all I have is all you gave

Had To Share It A lady takes her lover to her house during the day, while her husband is at work and Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet to skip school. Unexpectedly her husband returns home, so she asks the man to hide in the same closet. The boy now has company! Boy: "dark in here" Man: " yes it is" Boy: " I have a baseball" Man: "that's nice" Boy: "wana buy it?" Man: "no, thanks" Boy: "my dad is outside" Man: "ok how much?" Boy: "250" In the next few weeks it happens again and they meet in the same closet. Boy: "dark in here" Man: "yes it is" Boy: "I have a baseball glove" Man: "how much?" Boy: "750" Man: "fine". Few days later the father says to the boy, " grab your gloves and ball and let's go to the park. The boy says, "I sold them" Father: "how much" Boy: "1000" Father: "It's terrible to over charge ur friends. We are going to church and u have to confess!" So they go to the church and father alerts the priest, makes the boy sit in the confession room and closes the door. Boy: "Its Dark in here" Priest: "Don't u fuckin start that shit again!!"