This Is It This is it... All over again, Battling with a certain demon, My ugly monster, Deep within me Will I do it? Will I success? Will I fail? Or Will I overcome it? Will I look at my scar And not to open it, And letting it happen All over again? My scars are my wounds Just a reminder of what was And of what will be... #cutting #demon #war #battle ##depression #notgivingup

Venting I'm sorry I haven't been on for a month, but I have been battling with my inner demon since forever. It is part of me. I have chorionic #depression and it isn't easy to battle this demon. Every morning when I wake up, the very first thing I think of is... will I win today? Or will I lose? But I have been clean for 2 years now. I haven't picked up knife or razor or any broken/shattered glass and there's no new wounds/cuts since 2 years... I'm still trying.. for my daughter's sake, and for my husband's sake... I felt the urges to do it today, it was and is very strong. Strongest as ever. I decided to pick up iPad, to write instead of picking up the knives, to cut.... the next post will be my writing... my venting..

You Hurt My Heart You hurt my heart When you assumin' The true intention of my actions Without asking first, like a warden Inspecting every call I make Every move I make You hurt my heart When you critic How I think and how I feel Am I a puppet to you Where you could dictates My thoughts and feeling Baby-babe, You shot me with a bullet That comes with a hallow point And now it's buried deep in my heart Covered up with scars A reminder of what may comes Ooh-ooh, Ooooooooooo You hurt my heart After all these years I preached to you That I don't judge Mama said, mama said Don't judge a book by its cover You hurt my heart But she doing it anyway And I learned the hard way The world is hurting Too much judging, assumin, and criticizing You and I don't need that You hurt my heart Talk to me, like I'm yours Ask me what I think And I'll let you know how I feelin' And I'll tell you right now That's okay, we still learnin' and I still love you so You hurt my heart, but you still mine #rap #rnb #judging #love

Dear Spring Dear Spring, Spring, I despite you It's not the warmth I despite In fact, I welcome the ray of sunlight It's your little babies that I hate the most All that pollens floating around It's that sneezing and coughing Causes by all your little babies I watched joy spreading outside with envy All those people, outside, having fun Spring, I hate you I hate you for spreading Those babies of yours, Invading throughout my home Attacking me cause I'm a weak link And I'm stuck at home, My head throbbing My whole body hurts And I hate you Oh Spring, why do you have to be so cruel? Sincerely, Insomnium #poem #poetry #spring #yousuck

Rain Moon Duo Rain Moon Duo When the#moonis full And the sky is crying I count all rainfalls As a blessing And no one will ever know That I'm crying Rain Moon Duo When the#moonis high And the sky is crying It hides tears That are falling from my eyes And no one will ever know That I'm crying Rain Moon Duo When the#moonis blue as the sky And the sky is crying May it be pitch black So I can see all stars dancing as I am And no one will ever know That I'm crying Rain Moon Duo When the#moonis low And the sky is breaking All mildews twinkling upon the grasses Reflects last night's rainfall It's my cue to put A fake smile on my face, and brave the world Rain Moon Duo #rain #moon #song #sadness