Dream no. 29 Morning comes and the gloomy winter sun pours in through the space in my curtains. I'm still in the same clothes I wore yesterday, and I'm still staring at the ceiling. My eyes are still bright red and puffy from crying. My heart is still torn into a million pieces.  Evelyn walks in, still distressed as hell, because she's still got a half-empty water bottle of vodka and fruit juice in her hand. She slams the door behind her. "Maddy, please, just go to sleep. You need sleep." She sounds like she's been doing this all night. Of course, I refuse. Instead, I hold out my hand for the bottle and she dumps it by my side. I reach down for it with a small thanks under my breath and sit up to take a swig. I then remember that this mix of drinks is disgusting but I keep drinking because it's not as if I've got anything better to do. Evelyn sighs and sits beside me. "What have we come to?" She sounds exhausted and I feel kinda guilty for being so difficult last night.  "I don't know, Eve. What the fuck have we come to?" I take another swig and force the bitter concoction down before laying back again. Evelyn joins me and puts her hand on my stomach. It's kinda hot because she's dragging her thumb back and forth and she seems to realize how hot it is because she moves her hand a little lower and before I know it we're kissing and my heartbeat speeds up a helluva lot.  Before we do anything else, she pulls back. For a moment, I'm scared that she'll leave and feel bad for everything. But instead she marvels at how I have enough energy to do any of this. We've been up all night, drinking and talking and crying but we still have the energy to make out and love each other and it kinda freaks us out. "Well, sex is one helluva drug, Evie." I say and she laughs and we kiss again.