God Bless Calgary "18 and sunny!" several hours later.. "woops! Just kidding! Looks like thunderstorms and freezing rain! Have fun walking home in that Hayley! Muahaha!" I'm wearing white shorts, a sweater, and toms. I hate this city.

I don't understand when people reject the city. How can you not see the beauty of it? It's harshness is what makes it handsome for what are we if we are not strong? Smoothly rolling over the carpets of cement, passing the homeless people, camouflaged by the looming shapes of an alleyway, quite content in their begging on a hot summers day. Each imperfection makes a bump in this road and it's soothing, like morse code, telling me to keep going. People. Everywhere. The city. The only place you can feel utterly alone, surrounded by an abundance of other beings. So many people. You could watch them all day; on a park bench, from a store window, from your own living room if you preferred. It's amazing how many connections there is to be made, how many lives you might change in the course of a week. I feel so connected here. I have the world at my fingertips. I can do anything. I can go anywhere. I can be anyone.

Nowadays How disgusting is it that I am sitting in the mall when I see some old lady trying her best to get to the doors and on her handi bus AND NO ONE IS HELPING HER. she was in a wheel chair! She was pushing it just with her foot! When I asked her if she needed help she said, "oh, if you wouldn't mind. I'm so tired I could cry." I wanted to ask her where her family was. Why wasn't there anyone helping her? What is wrong with the children she raised that they can't take a trip with her to the mall? Seriously? When I left her with the bus driver she said "always nice to see a kind soul is always around". I'll never see that woman again. I would have pushed her around the whole damn mall for hours if she'd asked me to. I'll never get to ask her why there was no one there pushing her. It leaves me wondering how long it would have taken her to get there if I hadn't helped her. Would someone else have felt some sort of normal, human feeling, ie. compassion, if I wasn't there first? Does no one feel for those in need anymore? There's something seriously wrong with society when people can't even acknowledge the very minor struggles in the everyday lives of the everyday people around them. Especially when they have such simple, painless solutions. What would it have cost someone else to do that hours before me? I know it would have meant the world to that little old lady.

Why am I lying in my makeshift bed, eating the junk food left over from my Friday night sleep over? Well, I am much too lazy to get up, I'm hungry with no actual food in the house, and, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I've simply already gotten myself into a slum over Ty's departure. This time Tuesday I'll be on my way to school and he'll be where? Toronto? Miami? Still flying through the sky to a paradise and well earned vacation? I hate being alone. It just doesn't sit right with me. Besides, I get up when Ty gets up. I lie in bed and play with my iPhone until I get a "good morning beautiful". So pathetic. People will tell me I shouldn't be so attached or dependent on a boy. But he's not just a boy. No one's loved me like this voluntarily before. I'm not one of those girls who are simple and ditzy and naive. I know I'm not. It's springtime, and love is in the air. It's emanation flows through my house, my living room. My substitute bed impregnated with it's redolence, the smell of Ty on my pillows. How can I sleep when there is evidence of him wherever I look, yet he's not here with me? Like empty footsteps. I'm thinking of staying at my friend Dianna's after Ty leaves and before my mum gets back from her two month peregrination to England without me. However, as much as I appreciate my friend's hospitality, I'm not sure I could leave this place. Although there are endless reminders of Ty everywhere, I feel like maybe I could use them to kind of relive our time together in this place while he is gone. It'd be easier to pretend that he would be walking through the door any minute with open arms. Or would that just be personal torture? How can one miss a single person so much? How will I handle so much separation anxiety? It's too much to handle. Will this still happen when our love grows old? I think so. I hope so. It's too passionate a feeling to miss out on, as well as the overwhelming warmth of happiness which follows his return. Sigh. At least it promotes imaginative growth and is stimulating an outpouring of ideas.

It's Opuss Against A World Of Apps I've been wondering why Opuss hasn't been more popular with people. Agreed, it seems a familiar combination of tumblr and twitter, but I think it has a select few qualities that put it apart from the rest. For example, my feed isn't spammed with what a couple people are doing every moment of every day, or cluttered with pictures. I like because it's all words. Not to mention the app itself has fewer glitches, freezes and crashes. I also feel pretty hip using it while it's not very popular. Does anybody think it'll really catch on? It may seem absurd but I feel as though I'd rather have random people read my innermost thoughts and reply honestly than have friends, family, even acquaintances judge me on my musings and cognitions privately, without saying a word about it to me, oppose to actually considering any heartfelt words that may, one day, become briefly illuminated on the screens of their smartphones or computers. Thank you Opuss, for allowing me to have freedom of expression without fear of people judging based on how I dress, my high school status, who I hang out with..maybe I don't want Opuss to catch on. Not yet. At least, not with the people I know.