The Wake-up After The Walk-out When I left my job to plan my dream wedding, I did not realise that I was exiting a stable and sensible state of mind. In fact, I thought it was the other way around - I needed more personal time to plan every detail of the wedding and my job was very consuming and I thought my head was splitting into two. Nope, that doesn't seem like the case. Now that I realized that, I learnt lesson number 1. I sucked in prioritizing. I gave up a job because I was bad( still am) at priority- management and I couldn't juggle many challenges at a time. So I did the easiest and the obvious thing, which was to quit. However, my regret is not about leaving my previous job; I regret that I failed to attempt juggling both professional and personal #life together. It is a different story if I wanted a dormant stay-at-home #life. No, not at all. I grew up in a household of strong ambitious ,working women, who are also great mothers and homemakers. I have always wanted that more than anything too. Its in my blood. But, I was late to see that. Too distracted to realise that if not a wedding-planning , #life will throw you another one that would put you back to that spot. There shouldn't be options to walk out on or quit something.

He's a keeper, and he's mine There's something about a quiet stare from that person where they would just sit, and look at you with a faint smile, without saying a word. You'd ask 'what are you thinking about?', and without any hesitation, the reply would be,' I am just looking you.' ' Damn, do I look ok?',says your self-cautious head. ' I hope I don't look like a joke', you joke.... After some time, he says, ' Nah, you look nice' .

Old News Its ironic that I finally feel at peace when things are at a junction. One is a dead-end, another is a rough path with a light at the far end of it.

Ramble Am I crazy to seek refuge of the thought that maybe my current status of my personal #life is actually what I needed to determine my relationship status as a whole? Wait, did that make sense? Sorry, it has been quite awhile since I pen down my spiralling emotions because I find it supremely therapeutic to express your emotions through writing. How?- cause' it gives that sense of 'de-cluttering' of your thoughts and it really helps . Anyway, back to decluttering. So shit happens and my relationship has been put on hold( yes yes. Another gaaay relationship- related post). Well we're not broken up, cos frankly we dont have enough reasons to. Okay, that might have sounded abit dodgy. Well, we as couples do not have issues or problems. We get along perfect. But. There's another thing that could result in problems later in the future. Money matters. Thus being the wiser, scarred, logical but caring individuals, the other half spoke of this as a huge issue whereby he is not capable to commit any more than he has now cause' he would not be able to provide me with things that would supposedly make me happy. Well it really is more complicated than this. Long story short, we have decided to slow things down, and I am doing it for him cos i know it is slowly eating him up inside. Yeah there are days where I feel I am being too apologetic and 'nice' but I guess thats just me. Uhm.. I am not sure how to end this but yeah. Thats that. Damn could you tell how much of a mess I sound like?

Last Thought Of The Night InMumbai First and last for .. Everything. You stupid.