I honestly feel like I'm living in hell. I try to live right. Go to church worship my savior and then I come home to the screaming and the yelling. It never ends. God I just wish it did. I pray all the time. But it feels like he's not answering me I don't know what to do anymore. I cry at night because that's the only time nobody sees my pain.... I hide behind my smile almost everyday. I'm thankful to get away on occasions and to go to church and see my church family. I feel the pain rush away... Until I have to go home. I find any excuse to stay away from home. I miss the old days where I loved my home. Now it just feels like hell ... Ill pray for everybody but myself. I don't even care what happens to me. I just care what happens to everyone else. I feel so sick at times because I know it's getting more worst. Nobody knows what a nightmare is, until they live with me. Even then they can escape. Sometimes I wonder where God is.... When all of this is happening.... Doesn't everybody? I'm not a bad person really I just wonder that's all.

He's Mine <3 I finally did it. I got a great guy that I've really liked. The best part is I made someone actually jealous, ha payback sucks!!!! I love him... I really do. I hope we last forever he makes me so happy and I couldn't be happier. I just wanna have him and him only. Problem is I have to secretly date. My parents are what you call "strict" and I'm apparently "to young" to date..pssssh lol

Feeling I don't know. I mean am I mad? Sad? Happy? I don't know how I feel right now. Anxious for what? Sad but why?? I just wish I understood my feeligs right now. Am I jealous, upset, I feel like crying, but also laughing. Im not pumped for anything. I might be done about something. Lord help me. I don't know what's going on. They should have a mood for this a type of feeling. I know what... I'm feeling..... Overwhelmed!!!! ( I guess it's just getting crazy with love and hate.

Why Me.. Seeing him kills me it makes me less strong. Trying to move on doesn't help. It makes me more worried that ill be seeing more than one person who doesn't like me anymore but no.... I didn't listen to myself I moved away from him and automatically went to Jessy he seemed sweet. Cute. But also trouble. He led me on now we just give each other awkward stares, and I feel so sad and depressed around him. After finally telling somebody I started falling for my friend Andrew he was redneck (like him) sweet, funny, and all out a great person but when I saw him talking to his x again I had that feeling of loosing hope and my heart couldn't feel more crushed.... Hmm I don't know, maybe I just rush into things. Maybe flirt to much . Gosh who knows maybe this is payback for going for the bad boys. And not the good ones. I'm rebellious and it's hard to stay with my Christian ways ..... I love who I fight for ....I cry secretly to myself because no one cares and doesn't need to! I want to be alone. And not tell anyone what's wrong with me. I want to be shy again where nobody notices me.... But I can't really change the impact I've made on people all I can do is move on forward. And I know he still thinks about what he's done but he pushes that away when he sees another pretty girl walk down the aisle ' I can just pray about things now.

Florida #life We got in the car after loading tons of bags it was a tiring morning. Sounds throughout the car, we arrived hours later to Alabama were we stayed the night in the hotel and slept great.