I Wonder I wonder if they know that the motivation to do anything comes from the drive of not wanting THIS THING to consume me. I wonder if they can hear my heart pounding with every lie as I claim to be okay. If you had asked one year ago, it wouldn't have been a lie. If you asked me now, I'd give a practiced answer that made me cringe with every spiderweb that spilled out of my mouth. I'm afraid that my lies are going to trickle out of my ears like water one day. I'm afraid they'll eat me up and tangle me into a thousand knots that I can't untie. I'm afraid they'll hurt others more than they're hurting me. I wonder if I'll be able to make it through for one more day.

An Unbearable Insanity I want to trace your eyes with my fingers so they sting with the oils of my essence. I want you to feel the pain I do when you leave in the mornings. I want to reach inside and pull out your throat so I can see what makes your voice so rough with the troubles of what you've seen and what you've been through. I want to tickle your sides with my calloused palms so I can feel you writhe and squirm with the violation of your space. I want to tug your hair so hard you see stars. And I want you to do it to me. I want to see your lips open in the groan that never comes. I want to hold your pain, your pleasure, in my stomach. I want you to feel the separation as I do: an unbearable form of insanity.

All I Have to Say For Myself "The last time you came to see me there were anchors in your eyes, hardback books in your posture. You were the five star general of sureness, a crisp white tuxedo of a man. I was fiddling with my worn coat pockets, puffing false confidence ghosts in the cold January air. My hands were shitty champagne flutes brimming with cheap merlot. I couldn’t touch you without ruining you, so I didn’t touch you at all. It’s when you’re on the brink of something that you lose your balance. You told me that once. When I can’t bring myself to say what I need to, my heart plays Russian Roulette with my throat. I swear I fired that night, but, nothing. Someday, I’ll show you the bullet I had for you, after time has done the wash. I’ll take it out of the jar of missed opportunities. We’ll hold it up to the light. You’ll roll it around your mouth like a fallen tooth. You won’t forgive me exactly, but we’ll laugh about how small it is. We’ll wonder how such a little thing could ever have meant so much." -- Mindy Nettifee

Wonderland He told me it was pretty; But that he couldn't stay. He left me in the field; But I couldn't stay away. Apparently, I'm too old; I should just not go, okay? But there my dreams, it's my wonder; He should let me go my own way. Instead he controls; He keeps me away. It's my wonderland. It's my place. You don't like it... Stay away.

The Happiest Place On Earth Remember what this feels like. Remember the parking in Chip 'n Dale. Remember the escalator that feels like it's five miles long. Keep the feel of the tram jerking back and forth and the joy that sparks through everyone. Smell the fresh bread in the air from that one bakery that opens at four and has the best coffee in the whole state. Feel the burning in your stomach when you first hear the excited chatter. Hear the gates swinging open and the whistling starting. See the smiling on the faces. How can you not smile when you're here? The best thing: you're never too old for this place. You can run, laugh, squeal, and do everything. It doesn't matter if you're 5, 10, 15, or 50. Here, it doesn't matter. It never will. It doesn't matter that everything is dirty and a few decades old. It doesn't matter that there are waits and loud children. It doesn't matter that it's hot, and getting hotter. It doesn't matter that it's the busiest day of the year so far. It doesn't matter that you always eat to much. It doesn't matter that the princesses are always already taking pictures with someone else. It certainly doesn't matter that the room is getting taller. Or are you getting shorter? And don't worry, all the elephants are wearing their trunks. This here will always be the wildest ride in the wilderness. Don't forget that you have to shoot the zzz on Zurg. In case you've forgotten, it's the second star to the right. It's fantasies, frontiers, tomorrows, adventures, and parties in New Orleans. Permanecer sentados por favor.