Please can someone tell me how I find my old postings on this site? Not finding it very easy to navigate and I feel like I’ve lost all my posts. Help!!!!

Paper Boats We never ran our course. Connected forever. How do people bear it When they walk away from love? How can they pace through the drudgery of #life? Through mundanity to eternity? Knowing we are but a flash in a spectrum On our way to dust and air, How can they bear to be so plain? We still shine like diamonds Never dimming, Only not reflecting each other. I will never live as fully Or love as deeply Or breath as freely. I see friends take their vows And know that they can never match us, Though we live in different worlds, And sail on different seas. Our paper boat was too weak To carry the burden of my vanity.

Foundations Stripped away they lay me bare, Without them, I am rootless, drifting. And the sand leaches in And the mortar crumbles, Pointing, drifting away to leave me wrecked. I shiver, Half as strong as i was, I will carry with me Your last gasps. I'll never feel your hand on my shoulder And my smaller world is darker, Like a child, without a nightlight. I am gone out.

... Dreams of blue skies and runaways, Talks of endless love and fate. Writes of forever bonds and beating hearts, Draws parallels with epic romances. Doesn't call, Doesn't write, Doesn't think, Doesn't care. Isn't mine, Wasn't there. The end.

Dad

It's a freight train moment
When I realise you are gone.
Eyes up, marching on
Like daddy's little soldier and then I remember,
There's no more eating pistachios in the kitchen,
Finishing the Christmas port in june;
You've left me
And I miss you.
A lost child in adulthood.
A rite of passage we all must bear
And at the age of 35
There's nothing more that I would wish for
Than that you were here.
Alive and well and giving me hell
About the crossword,
Or some other small complaint.
But here we are.
I wish I'd told you that I loved you more
Or that I was proud of who you were.
I wish I'd held your hand more often
And spent time listening to your laugh.
Instead, I shed tears here in the dark
And berate myself for time
Spent carelessly without you.
A father's loss is keenly felt,
A daughter's lot, half lost.