Dreams You can play out exactly what you want in this arena of chaos. I was dreaming about how I really want to have a fight with my partner because once again I had been let down. We went out last night and because everything wasn't how they liked it and they were tired... Once again, I had to go home. I am just fed up of doing this. Especially, as I don't get many days off work and when I do, I feel like it would be nice to go for a drink and let my hair down, maybe meet some new people. But oh no, that's too much and once again my evening is cut short. This seems to be a recurring theme so I have decided next time I am invited out, I won't make the effort to mention this to partner because what's the point?! It only ends in me not having a good night out that I really do need. I am getting older but I still like to have fun out with friends. Drink, listen to good music... Is that too much to ask? Now, today my partner has been invited to something and expects me to be there. I really do not want to go...? I feel awkward in that environment, should I have a tantrum or just go along being fed up like partner regularly does??!! I think I might ruin the day, I'm not that kind of person... I would rather stay at home. Home is so much more appealing right now. P.S. I'm automatically expected to purchase the gifts too and they are not even my friends! Annoyed doesn't come close to what I'm feeling.

Complicated You know when you get those days when nothing goes right. I just want to find something new in my #life. I'm fed up of what I'm doing at the moment. Nothing makes me happy and sometimes it just easier being on your own... There is no stress and no problems any more... If you have no one to worry about you have no issues at all. It sounds selfish but that's they way I feel right now. I really wish I was alone with my own thoughts, my own flat, my own money and forget everyone and everything else. I feel like I was born with nothing great in mind... I wish I could just disappear back to where I came from. Fuck the world for giving me a consciousness, a soul, a #life... It really is misery because all we do is die anyway with no memory of what we have even done. What kind of #life is that anyway? Now, I know why people kill themselves because then they have some kind of control of what actually happens... Otherwise, #life is just a time spent doing nothing important and making no difference at all.