Tissue And Bone It is with a heavy heart as well as a rather heavy mind that I put pen to paper. I confess I am not the most well of , I have my demons as many others have theirs, however I feel my own horrors out weigh those of quite a few. For you see I have seen hell, I have walked it's streets and smelt it's air ; it was not a pleasant vacation. I am but human, skin and bone and tissue and muscle. I can beat no evil. I can do nothing but join it; and join I did.

"The most screwed up people are the most honest."- Robert Downey Jr

Would You Want To Spend The Rest Of Your #life With Yourself? To make a long story a lot shorter I am not the sort of person I would like to spend the rest of my #life with. I have many flaws which are both irritating and down right rude. I get tetchy around food and eating as many of you know, I have a temper, I say sorry a lot for no reason, I moan and complain etc. These are normal human attributes, yes, but unattractive ones. And yet I fall in love with people who have different irritating attributes and still see fit to love them and want to be with them, possibly, for the rest of my #life. So, why can’t I forgive myself and show the same love? Simple - I care more about others than I do myself and have a tendency to be cruel to my own mind and body and forgive others easily for their issues. This could be either in my favour or bad for my mental health, and if I'm honest it's a bit of both. What I'm saying is - have you ever thought just how odd it is that we treat ourselves differently from how we treat others - or that we expect different from others opposed to what we expect from ourselves? Spooky.

Eating Disorders And Their Impact. I've suffered from eating disorders since I was a young teenager and now, at 19, I find myself back at the beginning of my anorexia and bulimia. Needless to say it annoys both me and my current boyfriend, Ryan, with just how afraid I have become of food. I feel sick at the slightest hint of fullness and often find myself worshiping the toilet bowl. Don't get me wrong, I am trying to get out of that mindset again but I have this unnatural fear of being 'fat' and imperfect. I don't want to live my #life this way, always counting calories, vomiting and exercising, but I really think that once you have it - you have it for #life. It's hell to anyone who has it or loves someone who has it and it's not just as simple as 'eat'. I know I need help, Ryan knows I need help - It just won't allow me to.

Kick Ass Be the sort of woman who, when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devils says 'Oh no, she's up.'