House by the Sea Can’t tell which waves are keeping me up Crash on the shore Crash in my mind It makes no difference I wonder if I would give up Half the waves in my brain extraordinary ones to find #life easier Because even though I am content It feels like happiness on a cliff above an unforgiving sea or a glass plate on the corner of the countertop Crash on the tile Crash in my head There are no acid waves Just regular ones Regular for me Deadly for me What can I do but breathe? And let them lull me to sleep

New Year's Choice I want to make a New Year's Resolution But it's so hard to choose There are so many things That I feel I need to do I need to look in the mirror more And stop wondering what I'm here for I'll try to think less, try my best Relax instead of get stressed Allow laughter and smiling come naturally And try to do things that once weren't so hard for me I need to learn to take my time, speak my mind and be honest in a way that is kind I need to wear what makes me feel better and learn to enjoy even bad weather I'll try to do what feels right Since it'd help me feel at peace at night I should stop ignoring what I once felt My New Year's Resolution is to learn to love myself

Signs You watch me closely for the signs Studies have shown that #depression makes you neglect yourself And that a telltale sign is not cutting one's toenails So you worry about mine. And when I'm excited you ask me if I'm getting enough sleep And I want to say Mother, I'm not manic, I'm merely excited And I'm not depressed, see I've trimmed my nails. Your eyes ache to find the signs That are slowly fading with time.

The Tunnel There is a sort of dream that comes back to me sometimes In it I'm walking down a tunnel Between the heavens and Earth With an immense feeling that I've been there before. Real or not, that dream was beautiful-- I loved the way the light seemed to be something I could swim in, like an ocean And yet, my favorite part was that feeling that the heavens would wait for me while I walked on. Despite all the time that has passed, that memory is still both curious and haunting And though I try to forget it I like that it comforted me so much At a time when I needed lights to swim in Because my mind had gone so dark. Even now, sometimes I remember the tunnel And think that maybe what happened to me wasn't all bad

A Calling I think the stage is calling me back For a while I had trouble looking other people in the eyes The thought of playing a part was ridiculous Because I already was spending all my energy on acting fine I used to love reciting lines, with emotions pouring out of me I didn't care if the audience was loving it or tired of me Because I was where I belonged And now I think it's time for me to come back There's still a side of me that longs for the lights And cries for an audience without caring if the audience cares I can hear past memories calling And I think I might get back on the stage