Heartbreak Heartbroken. Ignored. Isolated. Backs turn on me to push me out the conversation. Eyes glare at me in warning. Stay away from her. Threatening and menacing. Back away. Used to get comfort from them, used to get backed up, told it was alright, used to. Not now. Now they run to eachother, embrace in my face. Like a blinding red hot poker through my chest. Twist it, twist it, twist it. Couples all around. Aware my issues hold me back, try my best but once again my faithful friends do not come to my rescue. They exist in their own world, discarding me out with the dismissive turns of their backs. Not a word, from them or the keeper of my heart. Not a word when they see my pain, not a word when I stand alone. They dance. The lights and the sound. Too much. Not a sympathetic soul among them. Not a whiff of compassion. You dance. You hug. All of you. Except me. You kiss in my face. You look so in love and so happy. And it breaks my heart. Like a kick in the chest, obliterating my lungs entirely. Completely. Useless. Why do I love someone in such a way? They treat me horrifically, ignored and isolated. Barely a word spoken. Awkward. Yet I still love them. More fool me. But I can't be without them.

Own Worst Enemy Try to fix things. Make them worse. Try to apologise, make it a mess. Try to explain my predicament, try to enlighten them. Make it complicated. Hear them now, b*tching, moaning, bad-mouthing, twisting the knife in my back. Having fun, laughing, joking, enjoying eachother's company... All without me. Tolerated, exasperated, frustrated, never wanted. Isolated, what a joke. Identified as a joke. Who needs enemies with friends like these? Turn to my books, to my bike, introverted, isolated, but safe. Every word makes it worse, every comment laughable, damage limitation at all-time high. Cut my tongue off before I become even more of a joke to you all. Laugh and point behind my back, roll your eyes, dismiss me and my mind, close the doors to the group and turn your backs on me. Pay no attention to my struggles, forget I exist when it suits you. Tell me I bring it on myself, tell me I don't help myself, tell me I make it worse myself. But don't listen when I tell you I struggle, within myself, a constant battle of thoughts and processes. You see my pain, see my eyes, see my struggles. Ignore me. Brush me under the carpet to avoid dealing with someone in pain. Leave me out of your perfect bubble, embrace eachother's lively nature and ignore my lull. Bipolar. Who needs enemies with friends like you?

Instant Messenger Instant messenger deleted. Relief. Naked. Alone. Technological dependence at all time high. Generation thing... Regaining control, controlling the controllables, releasing the stressors and complexities. Avoiding the hurt and judgement via ignorance. What isn't known won't kill. Love is lost. In another set of arms. Repeatedly unrequited. Heart broken. Rubbed in face. Isolated, alone, vulnerable, exceptionally heart broken.

No Opinions Please Gets you into trouble... No thanks. Keep your beak out, my own drama is bad enough. Focus on that. Try help others? More like getting involved in other people's business. 'don't take any of her sh*t'? Only tried to help... Hurts because Of who said it. Backstabbing in progress do not enter. Sort yourself out in future, having opinions gets you into trouble.