Don't Read I don't choose it I've been denying There's no ending it I didn't want this I've been lying to myself Every time I try I'm always dismissed Oh what a pitty Stupid little girl Don't forget to cry You are anything but witty Don't you already know You can't pick and choose Any one who has ever loved you left And those who are there will also Do try not to cry You said it yourself Purebred introvert So don't even ask why It's too late because I have no fight Envying those who have relationships Wishing I could have just one But as they say "out of mind out of sight", right?

I Really Don't Know What I'm Talking About Lessing others pain I don't know what I'm talking about Lessing others gain I don't know what I'm talking about Making others lower I don't know what I'm talking about Making others slower I don't know what I'm talking about Scheming others intelligence I don't know what I'm talking about Scheming others forgiveness I don't know what I'm talking about Seems to me that I don't know what I'm talking about I must be delussional Because it seems like I have no clue I must be cynical Because we live in a fairness green and blue Seems to me I really do know what I'm talking about. -- It's been a while. My #life has been crazy busy. I'm back.. Again.--

I have like 3 different kinds of #poems going thru my head all at once.

Part 1 Of Forever I don't ever remember feeling like this. I don't ever remember feeling for someone like this. I don't ever remember just going about my day. And going about my day, I don't ever remember feeling endeared from so far away. I don't ever remember the last time I felt secure. I don't ever remember the last time I shedded a HAPPY tear. I don't ever remember the last time I felt like I mattered. I don't ever remember feeling feelings of emotions so scattered. But I do remember that one night a #poem came to me. 'That lovely smile' at 3 in the morning. And as writing it I felt that same overwhelmed loving feeling while hugging each other good night on our first date. Did I mention ending it late, exactly 3 in the morning late. Unfortunately you will never hear that #poem. Because carelessly gave it away I, me alone. Looking back at it yesterday One thing i will regret today and all the days. It sucks because the #poem defines what was already gonna happen What was already put in to unknowing motion. This is all over the place, like my feelings for you. I can't t-think when I'm around you, showing loving emotions about you too. This is more like a starting of a love letter. I say starting because I plan on feeling this way forever. You have to be it. I want you to be it So I'll say "see you soon!" And write Part 1 of this.

Something Soon as i find my #poem journal I'll be starting up my writing again. I recently moved & i can't find anything. Clothes shoes you name it. Just a reminder that im not dead. I know some of my #poems & thoughts seem suicidal but they are how i feel. & they are true & i guess raw. Ttyl for now.