I'm Back! Hello, I know I haven't written in a very long time but many many things have happened since I last wrote. The last time I wrote I was in my senior year of High school. Now I am writing as a freshman in college! I now have an amazing boyfriend (we are on a break Bc of the distance between us BC of college. But now i realize that i should move on even though I really dont want to. He is a great guy, and I love him so much, but we are just friends now and i want to be with him, but the best thing for us is if we go our own way and figure things out. He said that to me and i think he is right. This is killing me, but it always does. I have decided i am not going to move on and find someone else for awhile because i want time to myself. Kinda like a hyatis form guys if that makes any sense.

Dreams (part 2) (Continued) To me, hearing that news was like giving a pack of bubble gum to a kid, but telling them that they couldn't chew the gum. Or An Olympian never to be able to compete for that gold medal. I was devastated. My friends wanted to hear the news, so I told them, and they were like "that's great! At least you get to still ride!" But to me, just sitting on a horses back, only being able to walk and trot (a jog for us humans) was pathetic. So I decided that I wouldn't ride ever again because I know that I would have my horse go into a canter (a fast run for us humans) or a gallop (racehorse speed/ track sprinter) or jump over a log, and all I had to do was fall, and it would all be over for me. My friends from my barn keep sending me pictures of them with their ribbons from winning their jumping class, and it kills me inside. I feel like a part of me has been ripped out, and crushed, never to be filled again. Whenever I jumped over a jump, what I felt was freedom. Pure freedom. And now that it's gone...I mean sure there are other dreams that I have, like to become a cop, or FBI, or to be a vet technician, but those aren't my passion, my drive, the one thing that keeps me sane. I will get over this, but right now, I'm just devastated. So my saddle, my ribbons, my trophies, are almost all packed away. I will teach kids how to ride for now, but I won't be the same person that used to have a passion for riding. That person of me is gone. Packed away, hoping to come out again someday...

Dreams (part 1) We all have dreams that we discover when we are younger that we hope to accomplish or live them. I have a lot of dreams, but one of them was to be a championship equestrian show jumper. I discovered this when I was about 10, when I jumped my first jump on my favorite pony. For 7 years I have been riding horses because it was my passion, and it was the best feeling to be on the back of my horse and feeling the wind dance across my face, and when my horse takes off for the jump....words can't describe the joy and freedom that overwhelms the senses. I have fallen off a lot, and been to the ER a few times, but it was worth it. Last year, something happened to me that halted dream of being a champion in the show jumping area. I got a triple concussion, and it wasn't from falling off a horse. It was from a trampoline that kids have in their backyard. How I got the concussion is a different story. But my neurologist told me that I would never be able to ride horses again, because if I hit my head....anyway, when I heard this, I felt like the world was ending. I was so close to moving towards another level of show jumping, and I was going to try to join some colleges show jumping teams, but I couldn't even ride. For a year, I couldn't be near a horse, because I knew that I would want to get on my horse, and jump the 4ft fences I normally jump. So my #life was pretty boring, and my barn told me that I had to go and get my things, and that I couldn't ride there anymore. I had to stop leasing one of their horses, and that was that. I was destroyed, and I still am. But the other day, I went and saw my neurologist, and he said that I could ride again, but I could never show jump. My parents were thrilled, but for me, it meant nothing. All I ever wanted to do was jump. And I still couldn't. (To be continued)

friends Friends, we all want them. I have been very fortunate. I made the best friends ever 3 years ago, and we are all still friends. My friends names are Dan, Sam, And Alex. These three are the most important people in my #life. They are always there for me, and I will always be there for them. They mean everything to me, and when one of my friends get hurt, I can feel their pain. To me, Sam is the closest out of all my friends. We talk about almost everything, and I feel more comfortable around her. I don't know why I do, but I do. Whenever I am around Dan, I feel awkward most of the time, and when I'm around Dan and Sam when they are together, I feel even more awkward. I don't know why, but I do. I know, I know, they are my best friends, but I can't explain it. But, we do a lot of stuff together. We hang out a lot, we mess around, and raise holy hell. We have a blast. I would not give them up for anything, I would do anything to protect them.

Strength "stick and stones won't break my bones..." This famous line has gotten me through my #life, my young 4 year old self, all the way until now that I am 17. I have always made myself be this figure of strength, and I have always built myself to be strong hearted, and this wild mustang that no one could tie down and tame. But as I grew up, and went through #life, I saw that there were those out there that needed to be comforted and to be picked up off the ground. So I have promised myself that I will always be that wild and free mustang, but will always be there for those that are hurting and need a friend.