My fiancée is complain, is this how's it gonna be? The game already started and we are down by three. Her yapping hasn't stopped and my team's field goal just got blocked. Halftime has arrived, to the market I depart, I guess I'll buy some Midol so I could watch my idols. I forgot the maxi pads now she's screaming going mad. So I'm getting in the car and I'm heading to the bar. I'm sure that I'll get canned but thanks God I got my hands.

If You Can't Use Them... Two friends run into each other on the street. One of them is holding his elder mom by his hand: - how you been Sam? - hanging in there, here with mom who lost her vision and hearing. - sorry to hear that, you taking her to the doctor? - oh no! We are going to go get her electricity and phone cancelled.

The Pessimist Toilet A pessimist toilet always looks up and says- "same shit different shape".

Are We All The Same? I was asked why Mexicans loved lowriders so much. Being from a completely different nationality I found this a little insulting, so I told him it was because we liked picking tomatoes and cruising at the same time.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him " what's with the long face?".