Live Live with no excuses and love with no regrets. - Montel

Saving Myself I just couldn't do it, I dropped the knife that was pressing against my neck and I cried till all my head started to throb. I had all the images running through mind, how would of reacted if I had died. Her standing at my coffin, completely lost her face haunted me. No parent should bury their own child - so I just couldn't bare the thought of trying to take my own #life and leaving mum like that. After the tears, I stood up and carried on cleaning and went to sleep as if nothing had happened. Mum woke me up the following day and asked how my trip was, I smiled and told her all about it, I was content-for now to say the least...

Sorry Was in hospital due to stress will get to writing in a few mins

Giving Up When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place. ~ Unknown

Alone, Broken And Unloved When I started to look around searching for signs of #life, praying not to see a body. I ran into my mums bedroom and there she was... Asleep, I heard her breathing so I calmed instantly but anger roared up my throat and I shouted at her to wake up. She opened her eyes, smiled at me and turned her back towards me and went back to sleep. What could I do or say? She was sick, not physically but mentally, she was acting out all the past hurts and abuse and there's was nothing I could say or do to help her and the meds she was on just made her drowsy and out of it most of the day. So I went back into the front room frustrated, and started to clean up the mess, the broken glass, the knife and old rotten food. I never felt so alone in the world. While I was sure my school mates were busy telling their parents about their trip and adventures I was clearing up the mess mum made in the front room and kitchen. As I went into the kitchen and started to clear away the rotten food, there I saw a Bacardi bottle, I grabbed it and downed it, fell in the corner and cried. For some reason I felt unloved, as if mum didn't care, my dad not sticking around to support me or care although forgetting he abused my mum. I was in a right state, I got the same knife mum left in the front room and started to press it against my wrist, but I just wanted to end the hurts and pain so I raised the knife against my neck wanting to, trying to and crying out, I pressed it with force against my neck...