Your Smile Your smile. I love it. No, not that one. No. No that's not it either. No. Nope. N-Aye! Yes! Y e s That's the one It shines hope I love your shy eyes and the way your lips curl at the edges and the way you're so so tender It's the smile you give when you softly say you love me And I want it I want you to keep softly loving me Quite the opposite to this aggressive manic manner I have of making my love clear, I hope it's manageable but I know it might not be Please I need it in my #life like I need you I want to capture it and frame it and put it on my godamn wall and look at it when I die I want it in liquid form so I can take a shot every time you smile I want to get drunk I need your smile And I want the rest of you all here for the ride

Friends What is more sad? Taking the photos of each lost friend down from my wall one by one an execution of sorts the others waiting on death row Or is it perhaps the fact that what we had can die so suddenly and for me it is a mere stumble in the dark It startles and then I heal Your energy still runs through me, yes Your laugh and jokes remain But slowly, gently Until it fades The world is full of people and those who I have met and loved and kissed and laughed and cried with and eventually took their picture down those people I knew well, they were only a few I might be sorry.

Spill You have a pillow I'm clutching a knife Forget everyone and all their strife Grab the cushion, spill the feathers Grab your sister and see wether She wants to come out and play Rip them open, stuff their faces Make sure- they can't- breathe- And then what? Running and running and running. I don't know what we're doing. "When shall we join them?" I ask We don't belong there. I belong with you.

Brain My neurons misfire My head is here but it's not Chemicals are shit

Bad Again I am restless My laundry sits in a pile, undone for weeks I, myself?? Am coming undone I am weak My books are piling at the side of my bed Paralleled by my head's numbing thoughts I was letting go of this feeling But I have since found that I cannot.