Spur of the moment. It was a spur of the moment thing, saying I love you. I'm not sure if I meant it, mean it. I'm not even sure what I feel for you, felt for you. I don't know why I said it, all I know is, it felt right at the time. It felt right, so I said it. The outcome wasn't what I wanted, but what I expected. I didn't want you to say 'I love you, too.' I wanted you to tell me you hated me, because I was poison for you, but I knew. I always knew you loved me. As pretencious as it sounds, I knew, all along. I knew all along I was making you fall for me. I claimed to be so innocent and unknowing, but I've always known. I liked being in control and being able to call the shots, without you even having a clue. I liked having a plan that you followed so very blindly. I didn't want you to fall inlove with me, because I loved someone else. I knew you'd fall inlove at sometime, and when I finally noticed it, I denied it. I denied it because that's not what I wanted. I wanted to be in control, and you falling in love with me, took that away. It messed up everything I had planned. It messed up all the things I had in store. It messed me up. Hearing you say you loved me, made me love you. It made me think I loved you, but is that really love? Do I really love you? I don't know, anymore. This wasn't apart of the plan.

I think. I still think you're beautiful, reguardless if you don't fit what society thinks is 'beautiful'. You'll always be beautiful to me.

Oblivious I crave the feeling you get after you finish a book. When reality comes back, and you realize everyone else was completely oblivious with their lives while you experienced an emotional trip at the hands of a paperback. I crave this feeling, yet I dread it at the same time.

What I want I want to leave this place i'm in. I want to run and never look back. I want to walk away and leave this all behind. I want to enjoy the journey to where I'm going. I want to make those memories walking to my destination. I want to never forget my relocation. I want to be happy in my new home. I want to enjoy my #life in the new place. I want to be accepted into the new society.

Mirrors I look at my reflection. I don't see anything I of value. I see a a girl who's been molded into what everyone else wants her to be. She's this for him and she's that for her, she's not who she wants to be. She doesn't even know if these thoughts are her own. She can't decipher her actions or emotions.