Help I will never understand why or how to stop it. But it's like I can be so happy and everything's fine but those nights alone where I stay up all night just thinking just laying there and I feel nothing, no pain, no happiness. It's like I'm empty I guess that's what happens when you've been at the highest of happiness and lowest of lows. I do things and don't know why there's no need even when things are good I now find a way to screw them up because these days I'm too scared to go to the top because it's when you get knocked from there you get to the lowest point. So I guess feeling nothing is safest. For me anyway.