42500 I know you love me god, I know that you have a plan, I don't wanna question you, But I'm doing the best I can. I'm terrified of the outcome, I cannot lose my dad, I can't fall asleep at night, Because my heart is beyond sad. I love you, God, And I know that you are watching over me, sometimes I question my faith, It's natural to question what you cannot see. My family needs your help, I know you tend so many, I don't mean to take you away from them, But my dad needs every penny. I can't imagine #life without my father, I pray and pray everyday, He's always been there for me, I need him to be okay.

42379 I'm scared, and I'm trying not to be I have to be strong So that you don't worry for me I never imagined you weak But the sickness is so strong You don't look the same Green-eyed and dimpled smile You look tired From fighting this war This battle where blood has shed Tears have fallen And hearts have broken The terrorist tumors attack your body One by one The chemo penetrates your hope Day by day And I pray for your health All the time I'm scared dad, You know I don't scare easily Loss is something I've never experienced And I don't know how to act I'm not ready to let you go I'm not strong enough to say goodbye Please fight, I know you're strong enough Please fight, I'm not prepared to lose you Please please please fight, The world wouldn't be the same without you

I Want I want to lie next to you, I want to wake up to your fresh face and your perfect smile, I want to reach out my hand and feel our fingers intertwine as you kiss my forehead, I want to feel the warmth of your chest as you embrace mine, I want to outline your face with my fingertip And watch the sun rise right behind your shoulders, I want to feel the sting of your fingertips as they glaze my skin, And I want to wear your favorite shirt just to have you take it off again, And I want to lay my head on top of your bare chest I want to listen to your heartbeat in sync with mine, And I want to laugh with you one last time before I have to let you go, Because I don't want to let you go, I want you, all I've ever wanted was you I want what we had, I want to stop time and freeze us in our memories, I want you. I miss you. I want you. Please don't get married...

Thoughts... Sometimes I question myself, If I am as faithful as I think I am... I believe in God But some beliefs do not make sense... If God is this kind, loving and forgiving man Then I don't understand, Why do we praise him and place him on this holy pedestal? If he is this holy man that is so kind and loving and forgiving... Then he is also the man that is humble, His humble nature would not allow people to praise him, He would not allow people to put himself before everyone else, He wouldn't want everyone calling him a king. I want to accept my religion, But it's hard to accept catechism fully, Especially with priests condemning us so often, And ordering our repentance. I believe in a God who accepts. He loves unconditionally, He just wants everyone else to follow suit, He is the example that he wants us to become, He wants us to love unconditionally, To accept without doubt, And forgive with kindness... The simple rule is to live with love, And no one can seem to actually do it...enough.

Incredibly Simple I thought about you today Not in pain Not in tears But a simple smile marked my face One that is often underestimated and forgotten, Small and simple Like your fingertips Like your laugh Like the way you made me feel It's not a bad thing to feel small and simple Small and simple made me love you all the more, Everyone makes me feel "special" But you made me feel ordinary Floating above the ground, Relaxing in the atmosphere You pulled me back to earth, Allowed me to be simple Perhaps I'm crazy for loving you for this reason, But it doesn't matter. I don't hover around the moon Like old times, Planted on the ground, I smile at the stars that brought us together And thank them for being just so simple