Sobering Realizations I looked at every detail of myself and despaired The harsh reality of this world has taken its toll on me I feel it in my very soul (if I even have one) I tire of the mundane strive forward And to what? I try to imagine my #life in the future, But what I want for myself and what I will actually achieve are two huge questions I have yet to answer. Days are starting to feel the same, dragging on yet not containing enough time to do what I want. Bland work days melt into one another I try to keep my head above the water But I can feel this shadow lurking behind me hiding in my own, tricking me into thinking the dread I feel is nothing more than a daydream of a young lazy kid who still has all the time in the world. Old age, it scares me I feel it creeping in, I am more terrified of the mental change growing up inflicts on you than anything else. I have quit forgotten who I was or am, even though the only significant piece of advice My dad ever gave me every time I walked out the door was. Remember who you are. It's harder than it sounds, your youness just slips away and the world molds you like a wet sad piece of clay into something unrecognizable by your younger self and grotesque. The most sobering truth I can imagine is that I am the only person who can help myself. I don't know if I'm capable And I don't know if I'm motivated

A Revolution Of The Self I find myself stuck. Stuck doing the same things day in and day out while the world moves around me in a whirlwind of ever changing emotions. I've fallen into a rut, to busy trying to move forward instead of taking the time to climb up the side and see that #life is more than the straight and narrow path you decide to follow. I dream of bigger things and think of how I'll never have enough money or time to follow them. I stay up at night thinking about how my #life would have ended up had I not taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Sometimes I blame the people around me when I feel desperately and hopelessly stuck in an unmoving trod forward, I think if only I had been raised in a rich family where I had more options than the candy store and had everything I could ever want at the tip of my fingers. I've trapped myself in routine and in the end it is only I who can dig myself out, I have ideas and thoughts and projects and dreams that aren't to big I only have to believe in myself, get out of bed in the morning and work hard. I am my own worst enemy and it is time to break free of the chains I've wrapped myself in. I am a dreamer and I will not be content with mediocrity.

A Beautiful Catastrophe She has these big beautiful compelling eyes And hair that cascades down her back In waterfall of curls Full soft lips A smile that always suggests something And a body that has fuck me Written all over it Playing with her is like playing with fire Dangerous and unpredictable Yet exhilarating and exciting She will pull you in close but keep you just far enough away You can drink her up with your eyes and fantasize But you can never touch You can draw your finger close to her flame feeling a warm tantalizing sensation spread over your skin But as soon as you get to close she will burn without remorse She runs with wolves in the night underneath a full#moon Howling her pleasure at the top of her lungs Wild and passionate She is someone you want to be with All bright and shiny like a new penny before the dirt of the world mucks it up She loves you raw and hates you intensely She is a sweet savage A true flower child and an anarchist all rolled into a bundle of emotions and mood swings more unpredictable than the waves on the ocean She will toss you from side to side and the next minute be completely calm She is the wind whipping through your hair pushing you forward Whispering secrets in your ear that you don't fully understand She is wild and temperamental She is a compassionate rebel Always wanting attention yet staying out of the spot light Living on the fringe of society she stands back and lets you come to her Letting you think it is your idea all along Letting you think you have a choice She will never pursue you but revels in the chase She is a clutter of contradictions And the most insane sane person you will ever meet And if you get the chance to call her friend even for the briefest of moments she will impact your #life forever even when she is long gone Her memory will encourage you to be brave daring and kind She is the queen that made you a night in shining armor She will make sure you hold your head up high when the worries of #life threaten to bring you down She is pain and pleasure She is a real dream that you never want to wake up from She is adventure And when she's gone you will never be able to look at #life the same way She will change you for better and for worse But she will never be regret and neither will you

Bursting Reality Her reality Shone so bright Yet withered so small She lived so fast She collided with the End of time in a fiery explosion Expanding the sun And spraying shooting stars Across the entire world Raining little pieces of her soul Into the minds of dreamers Inspiring a spark of consciousness in the comatose masses.

Sky When I look at the sky I can see forever Not as direction Not as time It's something more The blue reflected in the eyes of every creature on earth Their stories reflected back The sky has been watching since the dawn of time It knows everything there ever was to know And when we are long gone it will still be there A book without words A story without a telling A silent movie Vast and unfathomable The sky will paint the outer layer of our world forever Neither beginning or ending Just being.