After leaving this site In 2013 I have returned more wise, possess a greater knowledge of myself and the infinite beyond . Plus I revel in my unique personality that some anal retentive people would find weird... Fuck'em ???? . The intellectual conundrum based personality thug.
Meditaions The world is as like a prison. So one must train their mind and body to to survive in one.
#depression Is Not The Issue I am sitting here on this closed toilet seat lid tyling this and looking at the bottle of pills next to me on the sink. Killing oneself is not hard, it's the justification behind the reason you fight with that makes it difficult to complete. So people kill themselves due to extreme mental anguish of varying reasons and backstories. And thier are others like myself who are just done with existing and repeating continuous merry-go-round. I had a soulmate once. I say had becasue she has been dead for several months and the short years leading up to it were very painful for her. If i had just put my own feelings first and ran with my gut feeling naybe, just maybe she would still be here. And all that pain she went through would not have happened. We would have been happy together, i know it. #life still would have been a struggle, but i know we both would have been content with it as long as we had each other. Bored...so fucking tired and done with this reality. This is not a cry for help or attention. I just needed to put my thoughts to paper so to speak.
Relationship Ramble Please excuse any gramstical errors. It's annoying how some women and men in relationships take for granted that their significant other will always be there with them...in the background. And when the other person decides " fuck this shit. I'm out of here." That man or woman then shows more interest and wants to talk things over so as to work on their problems. Why then and there and not earlier before the current situation? If one half of a relationship is showing more intensity and getting depressed because of the lack of interest on the other halves part. Then they should not be surprised when a person wants out of the partnership, or at the very least begins to distance from them emotionally.
Meditations We all live in a infinitely unmeasured bubble along with others each enclosed in their own perceived version reality. The hell of others is the heaven of another . All individual perception is relative in this we call reality.
Tear You never no what you had until it's gone . You never know what could be once was it's done. I miss you.
