I absolutely despise you. You are the single most annoying pest I have ever met. You talk too fast and laugh too loud. I hate how you never take anything seriously. I hate how you always throw in your sarcastic remarks. I want more than anything to be mad at you But I can't. I can't push you away. I need you. I want you. I love you.

This All Consuming Feel I've never had it happen at work like this before. I'm not even sure what triggered it this time. I'm not sure what ever does. It comes when it wants, this awful feeling. It rushes in out of nowhere and consumes me entirely. I'm blind to the world outside of the whirlwind in my head. It's worse some times more than others. This time, I couldn't stop picturing the serene image of waving that gleaming blade, in one swift motion, right across the base of my upper limbs. Sometimes I wish I wasn't too scared.

You It's you. The butterflies I get in my stomach. The smile that spreads across my face. The light to my days of dark. And the sole reason behind awaking every single morning. It's you. It always has been and it always will be.

Sleepless Nights Lately I've been having more and more nights like these. I turn out the light and get under my bed covers, ready to fall into a deep slumber. It doesn't happen. I just lay awake in the dark, thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. Sometimes I let my mind go blank and I make shapes of the static particles I see flying around against the black space. I toss and turn but none of it does anything. I can't sleep. I close my eyes and let the darkness consume me entirely, until the sun rises again.

Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra "In time we hate that which we often fear."