Thank You He took my love and trashed it, You were always there to clean it up. He took away my strength, you gave me the will to fight it. He tore us to the ground barley able to stand on two feet again, he starved me for attention, you surrounded me with my family and friends. He made me fight against the ones I loved, you showed me what real love is. He took nearly everything I had, you showed me what I needed. He used us abused us left both of us to rot. He left me broken. You lifted me up. He broke my spirit, you gave me yours. He lost his faith in me and gave up, you picked me up dusted me off and put the pieces back together. Though looking back the lesson learned could have happened any other way. I would not have changed my mind, if I should stay. So through pain comes learning and experience. A little bit of pain goes a long way, just how bad does it have to hurt before we understand.

Ready, Set, Bike!! --Feel Steal frame and leather Muscles moving. --Sound Tires on pavement Leaves crunching Wind in my hair. --Success Thirty miles Between 2 towns --Pain Stiff Numb --Needs Salt Hot bath Soak --ahh Relief Sleep --dread walking tomorrow

Okay so lots of questions tonight. Most all steaming from my dream: where my ex was visiting my room leaving notes behind. And then on the last day i find a note with a ring ( one i don't remember) tied to it saying you promised you would do better, you would move on Sam. Then i walk in to my room find him lying on my bed as I curl up next to him enjoying the warmth of my sheets. Then reality hits. You are married. Why are you here. Why are you doing this. Didn't you move on with your new wife and kids. I can see the last one hurt so loosing my hystarics I shut up. Then he speaks holding my face, yes I am still married and madly in love... But if you were to say the word I'd Change that. And I'd be here with you. And I froze. And that's when I woke up.( by no means would I want him. So I don't know why I dreamed it..) So apart from this playing in repeat in my mind I look at the clock and notice that I'm running late for work. I have not been sleeping well and I'm not sure why, if it is the events coming up : my sisters wedding, my cousin having her first baby: a girl. Or the day my baby died. Which the previous are both falling into the same week. On top of that the thoughts flooding my mind.. Why are most of the women on my moms Side prone to having bastard children. Why can't she get her things straight and love us correctly, I have to get these things right next go round.. I have to break this curse. Then the line from my dream comes back you promised you would do better, do with that a flood of all my past relation ships or encounters.Now I have forgiven them. But I had to write it down so I could clear my mind. I am now moving forward and holding my self accountable.

Rays Gift From the time we share with our children, Some stay around for a while, others touch our lives briefly. Every one is important and special. A gift sent straight from above, some too special to stay. So not to worry and not to fret, we will see them soon and they will greet us with big smiles. To hear them say in a thankful way. Speaking to our hearts retrieving memories from ages ago. With lessons learned, love shared, marks made, and lives touched, Our little babies passed there tests earned their wings and the key to the gate. where there is a large rocking chair and a man bright as light that has a voice like thunder who rocks us all and tucks us in with stories of his power.