All i wanted was to pure my heart from all the hate i have built up over the years.., All i wanted was to be able to love my family again and forgive them for all thats happened..Not so much for me though ..but for them..because i know they need me but its so hard when all my life growing up , i needed them so badly and they didnt even call to see if i was okay..or alive..but i know i shouldnt blame them for not being there..because truth is i never wanted them to worry about me because i didnt want to bring them down with me and i know i was falling down and i knew it would hit me hard .. Now i swore to myself to never cry in front of anyone or be angry or show any sign of the kinds of pain i feel inside of me..anyone who comes across my path will always believe that i am happy and that i am living great..because i never want someone to sense my sadness within me ..i never want anyone to get that close to depression ..and i never want them to see pain so i will never show whats caged in within my soul ..physically my heart couldnt just brake in half..but it feels like its shattered in pieces..and theres a burning empty feeling always resting upon my chest ..my mind is numb from blocking out everything going on with me..Im still trying to save everyone else but i cant even fox myself ..iv given up awhile back and i swore i was dead and the world was always dark around me..i never spoke to anyone for months ..and eventually never left my dark room..i prayed for God to take me..but im thankful for those unanswered prayers ..im just unsure how to live again and little does my family and friends know that i am only living again for them..i dont want them to stop trying too..strength lye's with
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- 01-01-70
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