Despair Unfair despair is always there, I am a burden just taking up air. I feel unworthy of your love, a disappointment, not good enough, I want to crawl into my bed and stay there lost inside my head. But poison leaks from a voice inside, I cannot run from, nowhere to hide, nowhere to run to, to feel safe and warm, no peace, no calm before the storm. A river of rage that swells within, I've no more fight so I give in, to all the doubt and pain in me, the blame I aim internally. Black and blue with self doubt, one more blow and I'm knocked out. I can't defend against myself, I just need help from someone else, to pull me from this quickening sand, to hold me close and help me stand.

Alone Alone in the dark At night I lie Shrouded in misery I sit and cry Alone in a crowd Invisible to the eye Unseen, unheard I sit and cry Alone in the day I watch time pass by My smile fades away I sit and cry Alone in the world I wonder why Empty and lost I sit and cry Alone in the end I look to the sky As I wish away the pain I sit and cry Please tell me why No matter how I try Why I'm alone And left to cry.

Forgotten The Forgotten I am the forgotten Awake at night, I lie I am the forgotten They turn a blind eye I am the forgotten Left out in the cold I am the forgotten Left out of the fold I am the forgotten Unheard and unseen I am the forgotten The transparent human being I am the forgotten Waving frantically I am the forgotten Screaming silently I am the forgotten Lonely in a crowd I am the forgotten Left out and disavowed I am the forgotten Alone in the rain I am the forgotten My only company is pain I am the forgotten Forgotten that I'm there I am the forgotten Forever in despair.

For Lainey She makes me laugh She brightens up my day She is my sunshine When #life turns grey She'll always be my baby Even when she's old She warms up my heart When the weather is cold I love her spirit Her smile and her smarts I love her everything Especially her heart I'll always be there for her My love has no end She's my greatest achievement My daughter, my friend.

That's The Way He Makes Me Feel Another #poem from my youth, I was 14 when I wrote this too. Enjoy! I wish the world would swallow me whole For I cannot bear the pain But when I'm with him I'm happy Until I'm alone again The worst thing of all that I cannot bear About me and my lover I cannot be his, he cannot be mine Because he has another He loves her dearly This much I know is true But I believed that he loved me I must have been a fool He makes me feel like crying But I hold it all inside And put a happy smile on my face To get him off my mind There's a lot I want to tell him So much I need to say All these emotions I am feeling I just wish they'd go away He brings out the best of me But also brings out the sorrow The sleepless nights from crying As I sit and wait for tomorrow I wait for what tomorrow might bring To see if I'll get by What have I done to deserve this I keep asking myself why Why is he doing this to me Why does he make me feel so bad After all the time we've spent together All the special moments we've had I don't know if his heart is true Or if his love's for real All I know is he's breaking my heart That's the way he makes me feel.