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The Canned Consumer

I am a 16 year old Modern Democratic Humanitarian Marxist from the UK. I got to a private school because I am privileged and better than you. I'm a big fan of the lowest form of wit (sarcasm) and being patronising (that means I talk down to you) the picture is not of me... Yet. I am here to rattle your cages and rustle your jimmies as I go through the mountain of... Stuff in my... Room?

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  • 4 posts
  • Female
  • 01-01-70
  • Living in United Kingdom

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The Canned Consumer
Translate   12 years ago

Olive Martini [Not suitable for children] The cold glass presses not my hand, with a grip firm enough not to break the thin delicate glass but strong enough to make me look like the alpha I deserve to be. My associate sits there with his sunglasses inside this bright bar-room. He sips a 50 dollar drink in bus Gucci suit. His hair peeled back with a ferocity that only reflects my evening activities. He spits politics at me. About the faggots trying to fuck the system like everyone else. I urge him with a sincere voice about the need to support gay rights as any other human being much like the women and the blacks. We laugh. This is the only other type of human interaction I can stand, alcohol almost spilling down my horse throat until my shiny gold watch feels too heavy to pick up the glass. And they walk over. Scum filth. She had been eyeing my watch and his suit for the past half an hour. Every muscle in my body flexes as I watch their predictable little casual stretch over here to start a conversation. What could they possibly want? They weren't going to get it. Fucking asshole. The prune titted tight dressed whore with the ass flexing out of her dress had got my associates attention. His cock leading him wherever the hell it wanted. Not me. Never me. Every muscle was under my control, ever action was conscious such as my arm resting on the cool mahogany table as I eyed my friend sitting in the yellow stained suede chair and this whore touched me with the warmness of a hot summers day. "Don't touch my fucking watch it's worth you and your friend" By her wary looking, I decided it was time to lay my hand on her bony back. The sort of bones you only see when someone is campaigning for Africa protruded out of her. Petty. She whispers in my ear with a small sense of a warm tongue touching my ear. Disgusting. I was going to enjoy at least a bit more time with my associate before I where to find one of these things. Fine. I whisper back in her ear "If you came back to mine I'd kill you" she whispers back "That toned body would be worth it". I feel each step as I walk out, I feel the cold nights air and the warm grip of the foremans handshake. The limo rolls up and we make a brisk drive down a couple of streets, the whole time she tries to find a way not my mouth. Into my mind. She'll see it all soon. My apartment was all white, everything was neat and in order. Nobody ever ever ever entered it without me. She threw her fox fur coat onto the floor and dropped the dress off of her shoulders. There. Naked. I felt nothing. "Turn around" this time without any form of emotion escaping my voice. It's filthy butch didn't deserve this body. These hours of toning. And now I feel it. Panic as she turns her back to me, ass in the air and hands against the couch. What do I want out of this? A long and slow time or a quick bash? I pick up the nearest hammer and allow the fear to flow all over me. Thwack. Smack. Crack. Hours, days, months, years, decades pass with this whores body as my hammer drills so deep inside her and her blood squirts all over my white clean floor, my face, my suits. My fucking watch. This just makes me angrier as I fuck up her disgusting little face made to permanently pout. *zip* A suit bag will do as I hang her up next to her new friends, blood being caught in the bottom of the airproof bag. Next to the homeless man with the dog who is now rather partial to knives or that faggot whom wanted me so bad he didn't see my real nature. They use their body for greed and I take their bodies greedily. The gashes from my scissors show long and strong prodding up from that faggot. He was bled slowly. His mouth still open in fear and his eyes covered in pain. The pain I feel from all this. This shit. This empty space in my heart that allows me to hear and feel every fucking thing.

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    The Canned Consumer profile picture
    The Canned Consumer
    Translate   12 years ago

    eBay An, the beauty of abusing other people's needs for a quick monetary boost. Online shopping is something I try not to do for three simple reasons. 1. I already have too much stuff, 2. It's way too damn addictive, 3. It feels immoral to compete against shops that give people jobs. Nonetheless I do enjoy a prowl on eBay looking for that next bargain and searching for the scammers simply because its funny. 1 pound for a gold necklace? Come on! Unfortunately I'm now feeling the sting of the eBay nesting instinct as mountains of packages have stacked up in my hallway waiting for me to organise and sort them, *sigh* don't you just hate being wealthy? Honestly though, as a total nerd I have trouble not prowling around for collectors items or old ass games that I wasn't allowed as a kid, this is occupying a lot of my time at the moment and will not doubt fuel my poorly worded and mildly entertaining articles for a while.

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      The Canned Consumer profile picture
      The Canned Consumer
      Translate   12 years ago

      The iPad What the hell is that? Well it's this weird piece of kit... I could go on like that, but that's not entertaining to write and definitely not to read, a list of why it entertains me may be just as boring so ill have a crack at a mixture, because I don't like you. (Auto-corrects a bitch aye) this piece of gear, created by slave child labour, is one of the greatest things to happen to me, I have an Alienware laptop, holy hell it is heavy, it takes a while to boot up and it just isn't as easy as the sexy flip thing I do with my case for it to be ON. Possibly the first and last thing I use in the day, check the time, play music, see what arguments I've gotten into and all that good stuff. The fact that I dismissed it for years is somewhat saddening, I could have got sooooo much less done if I had my grasp on one of these sooner. The gentle tapping sound of my overgrown fingers tapping into your mind feels so great in my ear cavity and the auto correct throwing whatever the hell it fancies at me is always sure to cause me to start ANOTHER argument on Facebook (I carry them as trophies in my picture library, I kinda feel like the predator with all his skulls (not the pedophile type of predator, the alien one.)) So my love letter to a horrific corporation that should be shut down is here, it's the greatest portable computer that ever existed (in terms of ease of use, my laptops still better) now, some fun with auto-correct: Bitch = Bitching Butching = But hung Were = we're (Really dude?) Plasma = plays a

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      Sienna Williamson

      Alienware laptops kick ass! but I do love my iPad 😊
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      The Canned Consumer

      @sjw Is it too much to ask for both?
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      Sienna Williamson

      No I don't think so lol 😉
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        The Canned Consumer profile picture
        The Canned Consumer
        Translate   12 years ago

        Here We Go To those that this interests: and so it begins, a collection of thoughts forced onto a page for your hopeful entertainment. As I lay my morning docile eyes around my room I notice a lot of... stuff. Food, games stacked higher than the UK's debt report, nick nacks from holidays, cosmetic goods that lie but I use anyway. And yet I find most of it goes without scrutiny or observation. To hell with that! To be fair, my room, is a couple needles short of abandoned (that joke felt dirty) but I'm sure that there are some great pieces in here but I'm also sure there's some simple novel crap. I suppose it's time to start digging (not for Internet fame... Unless you have some to spare) but I will have to dig through hell stacks of items just for the satisfaction of strangers... Help me. Anyway, if you have so far enjoyed yourself, which I find hard to believe as this is an intro and that tends to be the boring part, then please give me a follow or check back here another time, it would be nice to feel appreciated is all, WOAH, I sounded like my mother and a couple of ex-girlfriends.

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        Teddy

        Welcome 👋 judging by your bio I'm looking forward to some biting commentary
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        Lee

        There are those that hold degrees in sarcasm here mate. Welcome aboard, I'm sure you'll fit in nicely. 👍
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        The Canned Consumer

        Not sure how much I want to rely on the fact that I hate everything capitalist I hope I can entertain your sad lonely evenings... I'm us you don't have any but if you did I would be entertaining you during them.
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