Them people who really need a high five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel.

My Favourite #quote From The Best TV Show "If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y’know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!"

SCARY STORY Chapter one A storm was brewing outside as Mr Kelly sat in his study finishing off his paperwork. He could hear the wind howling and the rain against the small window above his desk. The man lived alone in a grand manor house situated in a rather isolated area. He lived in the only house for miles, which meant nobody ever came by his house and he never had any visitors. Mr Kelly finally gave up on his work as the storm was too much of a distraction. The rather small, squat man made his way to the dining room at the front of the house where he could see the storm clearly thorough the tall windows. As he made his way towards the door, he saw a figure just visible through all the rain, it seemed to be making it's way towards his pathway. Intrigued, Mr Kelly moved closer and closer to the window, until his face was almost pressed upon it. He looked for some time, and could not see the stranger anywhere. Accepting the fact that the visitor must have been a figure of his imagination, Mr Kelly stepped away and turned his back on the window, just as a dark, hooded figure appeared as if out of nowhere in front of the window.

Lamb Stew Chapter one I never wanted to come to Finland in the first place. I mean, finland? Who moves there? Most people move to Australia or america but my stupid parents wanted to move to Finland. When my mum and dad broke the news to me I thought they were joking but obviously not because here I am. I'll rewind to about a month ago. ' Come on Mil, it'll be fun!' my mum said. ' For you!' ' For all of us!' ' We'll all get fed up after a month!' My dad butted in, ' Mil, stop being selfish! It's a great opportunity for all of us, trust us, you'll love it!' ' No dad. I love it here, where all my friends are!' Okay, that's a lie. I don't have any friends. Don't take me for a loner or anything, it's my choice. I mean, why have people tag along with you when you can do everything yourself? My mum and dad think I'm really popular, how gullible are they? Anyway, at first I refused to go but that didn't last long, my brother was all up for it so I didn't stand a chance. I don't know why I was so against going, I mean, what am I leaving behind? I think I've become quite attached to the lamb stew at my local takeaway. ' Do they have lamb stew in Finland?' I asked my mum when we were packing. ' Why do you care about lamb stew Mil?' ' Well, I tried to work out what it is I'm going to miss most and it's the lamb stew at that restaurant round the corner.' My mum laughed. 'I'm sure they will!' I left the room to go and check my phone, I had that feeling I had a text, well I heard my phone beep. It was from this girl in my school, Jess. She seemed alright, always stalking me though. How does she even have my number? The text read: ' hiya what ya up to? How's finland? Plz reply x' I text back, ' if Finland is my bedroom it's great, I leave next week, how do you have my number?' I left my phone in my bedroom, which was surprisingly full since I couldn't bring myself to sort through it, we still had a whole week left, I'll just do it tomorrow. Just then I heard my mum shout me for my tea. I went downstairs, pausing to look at all of the pictures that are placed on the wall outside my bedroom. They were all baby pictures of me and my brother, Connor. Vaguely I heard my mum shout me again, and so I went down the stairs and into our small kitchen. As soon as I arrived my mum turned away from the stove and launched me into a backbreaking hug.