And it's only once into the black that I realised how deeper shade of grey i'd become. Its only from looking from the dark... That you see the shades of light you can be.

Retirement The engines continue to hum, gloom still lingers around. A film of filth hangs on its breath. The heart inside still pounds. Working, the cogs still turning, although now tiresome and slow. This machine continues working but not forever, that we know. Though there is a choice to make, you can stop, help and repair Or to continue on whilst broken... To the depts of the deep despair. Rarely a choosen option... Even rarer to be had by the machine. Situations - however evident, Retirement yet to be seen.

Loved One Don't worry you're not forgotten, My heart won't let it be so... For the moments we have shared I could never let you go. I carry a piece of you with me, Though visible it may not be. For in those moments we were the same. Attached, we're family. So, yes for now you're gone, But whilst memory beats in my veins, You shall mever be forgotten Not when i still remember your name.

Hollow Goodbye. Just another reason not to go on. It'd not as though I've tried to fight it, But I've just given up on trying to hide it. So tell me now, and tell me when. I can feel alive enough to go on again. As for now, it's like i can't feel. Numb inside, and cold as steel. Hollowed out, and breathless. I can't control these incoherent thoughts. Just tell me when it's safe to think. For now i can only but sink. That lump in my throat is only hardening. From this saddness i need pardoning. (C) Odd

Thoughts From Now. "Be careful what you wish for" These words seem to ring around my head a lot lately. I know why. It's a lot like... "Better the devil you know, than the devil you don't" And I can't help but think, maybe I wanted things to go wrong, force my hand into things. Have an excuse to do it. But now I can't help feeling a little regret, whether it be from a wish... Or from a move away from a devil I know. Just have to remember - everything has consequences, from idle thoughts, to things allowed. #lifes not a fair game.