Hangover Awards And the award for hangover of the year goes to.... Nick Brown "Thank you so much everyone its such an... Such an honour to... Blurghhhh" / Throws up into the tuba in orchestra pit.

Jim Fixed It Dear Jim'll fix it During the 90’s I wrote to you to fix it for me to spend a night with a hooker, which you arranged with great vigour. The night was a great success, as you know very well having insisted you stand in the corner and watch us the whole time. Me and Molly the Muncher are now together with me as her loving husband/pimp. We are expecting our 7th child and have decided to call him Jim after Jim Bowen. Just thought you should know. Nick

Goldie Oldies The old ones are always the best. Chuckles Wayne Rooney to himself as he goes to pick up another hooker.

Sid Squirrel Sid squirrel was too excited to sleep, the package that he had ordered of the web was due to arrive this very morning. He lay in his little bed, within the tree upon the hill of Hampstead Heath, breath bated. "Bing Bong!!" went the door bell, it's was Bill Badger "Got a package for you here Sid" said Bill. "it's big so you will probably need both hands, do me a favour and reach in. See if you can give it a tug" Sid reached down Bills sack and grabbed onto the parcel "be careful not to damage owt" "nothing's happening" said Sid "keep tugging, it's about to pop" replies Bill. All of a sudden the package came out of Bills sack, Sid's new nuts had arrived. Sid removed the packaging hurriedly showing off his nuts to Bill whilst beaming with pride. "By eck those nuts are huge!" exclaimed Bill. "I know, they are called coconuts" said Sid pleased as punch. "I heard those big hairy things are full of white sticky liquid" enquired Bill "you would be right Bill, it's called coconut milk" said Sid. Just then Sally Squirrel wondered up, Sally was a proper cock tease according to Sid's mate Colin Cockrill. Sid didn't care though he was besotted. "Sally come and have a look at my nuts" he shouted waving around the sack. "Oh... there so big and hairy!!!" shrieked Sally with delight. Just then Sid dropped a nut splitting it open and covering everyone with white sticky liquid. "I'll fetch you a towel" Laughed Sid. The end.

Pondering Looking deeply into the black abyss that was the night from the train, Nick pondered to himself an important question "Should Nick stop referring to himself in the third person?"