Oh! To Rhyme I'm not much good at po-ye-tree I'd much rather have a cup-a-tee Ratching my brains for what to write Ending up with a rhyme that's sh*te Lines too short, lines too long, Come to the last one, All good thoughts ... poof! ... gone. Just like this ...

Wash My Brain Loading the machine up with more of the tonnage of household washing one morning, reaching into the cupboard for the powder. Opening the tub and realising I was going to put my cats' dry food in the washing machine's powder drawer. Argh! Another senior moment. Why, only yesterday, I sprayed hairspray on my face instead of on my crowning glory. Sometimes, when I am at work, I think about the days before, when I never used to make mistakes. Now I notice wee errors popping along, nothing major, just forgetting to do things that were second nature not so long ago. I just say it's a "senior moment" and most people chuckle. I don't like this happening though, it goes against every grain of my being. I hate making mistakes at work. Once upon a time I was smart and efficient, now I seem to be turning into a scatter brain. I'm terrible with dates too. I bought tickets for a gig. I wrote the details on the calendar. My ex and I travelled all the way to Glasgow, got parked up and went to the venue, which happened to be a pub. When we went in we were hunting round for the entrance to the room the gig was being held in. The doors were firmly shut, that's when I realised I'd written the wrong date on the calendar - the gig was actually being held the next night. My ex was not best pleased, understandably. I said "Look on the bright side. At least we didn't miss it". I don't think he saw the funny side of that. If only I could put my brain in the washing machine on a delicates wash. Then I could clean out all the fluffy stuff that's gathering in there. Hey presto ... Miss Efficiency returns.

Start Composing Why is it when asked such a question your mind suddenly goes blank? I'm in bed - woke up early - and got a reminder to update another app. Then of course I took a look about the other apps available and stumbled upon this one. As a cat owner, I thought it was about cats. Then I realised it was actually a writing app. "Oh well!", I thought, "I used to love writing stories - many moons ago". My English teacher praised my writing abilities all the time. I guess I have always harboured the thought that I could be inspired to write again, I need a good idea though! You see people writing their memoirs. How do they remember what people said to each other when, say, something happened when they were five? Impossible, of course they may have the gist of what was said, they surely make the majority of it up from old feelings and summarisation. I could write something about my childhood, growing up with my sister. Our dad was an opinionated man. I've always thought there are many, many stories to tell involving him. It's a case of finding the right way to tell them ...