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Lisa Roberts

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Lisa Roberts
перевести   13 лет назад

Ok so I have loads of random parts to a novel I'm creating what does everyone think so far ? Opening paragraph Every nerve in my body tingled, but not a good tingle, not an orgasmic tingle, but a heavy, numbing tingle. It ran deep through my blood stream. My veins bulging as my body stiffened like a drying cement walk way. I felt nauseous; like my insides no longer rested safely where they belonged, but instead, had started making there way up my throat. I tried to relax and take a few deep breaths of fresh air, but my lips would not open, they felt sewn shut. I managed to turn my head towards the only light I could see. The intensity burned my eyes just as the sun did when I could not stop staring at it. My mum had always told me "staring at the sun will make you blind arielle". It is almost euphoric; everything around you disappears, not even your troubles can bother you. The sun had always set me into a trance as a kid. The pure beauty of its nature. This light gave me that same hypnotic feeling. It made me realise what I had just done. I looked around, anxiously waiting. He said he would be here by now. Why wasn't he here? My jacket lay on the slightly Dewey grass as I paced back and fourth as the sun rose over the forest trees. Below is some snippets I haven't worked out how to link in yet I did not even know what I feared. That did not seem to stop the incessant thoughts brought on by this fear though. I thought, "What the hell just happened? Where am I? Why is there an overwhelming pain crawling over my body like worms coming out of mud during a storm? Within seconds, tears tumbled from my salted eye. Those tears, ripping across my cheeks like a Kansas wildfire, etched into my face the memories that had since vanished. My heart began to beat slowly and erratically at first, my eyes began to burn in their sockets and a lump arose in my throat as I tried my hardest to avoid swallowing. I wanted to be somewhere dark, somewhere safe. I just wanted to run - run far away from all these people. The intense fear fired through me and I felt my heart beating fast. I wanted to get out. In that one moment of intense passion my every nerve in my lips became more sensitive, while all the other senses became numb. I had forgotten how much I loved summers in the country until I bit into one of mother's freshly picked oranges and waves of childhood memories burst from the flesh of that citrus on my tongue. He paused momentarily to catch his breath before resuming his knocks louder and more self-assuredly. Don't ever feel the need to love his skin glowed and you know if he touches you with it you will melt just like those damn m&m's that pretend they don't melt in your hands. Josephine was perfect even when she wore just rags to class. Her tank top gripped just under her protruding collar bone and firmly held her petite waist. Her pipe jeans crinkled at the ends as she spun to face me. Looking plain as yogurt and unmistakably dressed on a student budget Josephine's cheeks radiated confidence of which, only she could pull off. Her beady green eyes darted towards me. And then her head lifted, and her gaze met my eyes. Her face was flawless in its balance of curves and lines: a beautifully arched nose, high cheekbones, lips curved into a smile. A ribbonlike curl of fiery red hair fell slightly past her rawboned shoulders. Her limbs were long and graceful, a willow bending elegantly in the breeze. He chuckled in his alpha male tone and I cant help but grin. His mousy hair flopped over his right eye and, as he raised his hand to push it to one side, his eyes glistened like the Bermuda Triangle. My eyes were drawn, fixated on his. His skin glowed a heart warming olive tone with his chin rough from stubble. "In that my lips became

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    Lisa Roberts profile picture
    Lisa Roberts
    перевести   13 лет назад

    Beginning to piece a story together how's this for one of the descriptions of character so far .. The tank top gripped just under her protruding collar bone and firmly held her petite waist. Her pipe jeans crinkled at the ends as she spun to face me. Looking plain as yogurt and unmistakably dressed on a student budget Josephine's cheeks radiated confidence .... Any criticisms welcome

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    Miichaela

    A fantastic and highly descriptive piece Hun! Well done!!😃😃😃👌
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    Lisa Roberts

    @michga thank you I'm stuck thinking about what to put next hopefully in time I'll have seem more
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    Tom

    Looks good to me 👌
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