Invention How's this for a possible invention... A belt buckle with a todger (penis) holder, just whip it out and let it rest, lazy pissing ftw!!! Lack of sleep no good for mans brain.

And Now I'm A Dad 16:28 19/04/12 James Adam Thomas Collins was born and me and my partner couldn't be happier! I've always been the type of person who is uncomfortable holding babies, but when my son was born I didn't hesitate to hold him, I thought being a dad was going to be hard and it is! But I'll happily change his nappy and feed him just to see his happy face looking back at me, it's an amazing feeling I've made a promise with him that I'll be the best dad I can be, I think I'm doing well so far, you'd have to ask him...but he can't talk yet, being a few days old an all

Should Stop Quoting My Girlfriend His pregnant girlfriend (yes, me) has decided it maybe worth correcting Jon about the mis#quote he put up from me.... The pie incident, it was not just any pie it was MY meat and potato pie and his evil brother kept threatening to eat it... I am happy to have cleared up I am not a crazy lady who is obsessed with pie but infact I am a heavily pregnant, crazy lady who was craving pie

Scooter Gangs They roam the streets on two wheels, their laughing and shouting strikes fear into the hearts of the everyday man and woman, soon the pavements we walk on won't be safe, Britain is being taken over by an outbreak of scooter gangs, ''how do we spot a scooter gang member?'' I hear you cry, well...I'll tell you. Scooter gang members are usually between the ages of 8 and 15, they roam the streets in packs of 3+, although it's been reported that they can grow as big as 20! They terrorise the streets we walk, getting in the way of shoppers and generally being a nuisance. How can they be stopped? After some extensive research in my lab (bedroom, playing black ops zombies) the only way they can be stopped is by destroying them, they have no brain, so head shots are useless. There is two ways to kill them, between the ages of 8 - 12 a good leg break will stop them, leaving them to starve since they can't scooter about on there scooter. The 13 - 15 year olds weakness is a good gunshot to the pecker, Johnson, lil jimmy, pee pee, widge...whatever is the funniest name for a penis, one good shot in the dick will put them down for good, since they only think from that area due to puberty. So be vigilant people, if you come across a scooter gang...destroy it!

A Close Call Early morning, Friday 13th, My eyes still sting from the lack of sleep, My mouth dying for a coffee, I arise out of bed and run Laura a bath then walk towards the kitchen for that morning fix of coffee. Upon opening the kitchen door I see my brother, quickly pulling his boxers up, then it hit us...I almost saw my brothers willy...a close call indeed.