Making Some Tea Grab the kettle, Fill it right up, Wack on the hob, And turn the heat up, Shout out to all, 'One sugar or two?!' Grab the milk, Then grab a spoon, Sugar, sugar! Load it all up, Hear a whistle, Wack it in the cup, Pop in the tea bag, Give it a spin, Sit on a chair, And take it all in.

Tony And Nick So there's these two chefs, Called Tony and Nick, Who I work with on Saturdays And they're both a pair of dicks. I'll take in an order, And Tony swears at me! As if I want a cod and chips, With a side of mushy peas! Nick is a sarcastic arse, Throwing digs and being a twat. To be honest I think he eats the orders, Cause he's really fucking fat. Though there was a time on a Saturday I went and called Nick, Neil. But that was a bloody age ago! Is it really such a big deal? It's getting to the point I'm scared To put an order in front of them. But it's my job to take the orders And put them in the kitchen! I shouldn't let it get to me, But I really had to say. Tony and Nick are a pair of dicks, And they ruin my Saturday's!

That Bloody Wasp A wasp! A wasp! A bloody wasp has flown into my house! It flings itself against the windows trying to get out. I hear it buzz and hiss and bizz and bazzle and baffle me, Cause when I open a window near it, it clearly doesn't see. I don't know how this stupid wasp gets in then cant get out, I duck and hide from its mighty rath and hear it scream and shout, I grab a glass and some card and such to help it on its way, I enclose the wasp and carry it out then leave it to its day. But then when twenty minutes go and I sit alone at home, I hear a buzz a hiss a bizz a bazzle and then I know, That bloody wasps got in again and is rattling at my window! So I pick up a paper by my feet and smack it with a blow!

Laugh So Hard Sometimes I laugh so hard I feel like I've done 52,971 sit ups.

Pigeon One day I kicked a pigeon up it's tiny bum, I don't know why I did it but it was really rather fun, It spread it's feathered wings to take off with grace, Before circling towards me and shitting on my face.