Jolly Santa The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

The Great Dictator I don't want to rule or conquer anyone, I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, Gentile,Black man,or White, We all want to help one another, Human beings are like that, We all want to live by each others Happiness, Not by each others Misery, We don't want to hate and despise one another, In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone, The way of #life can be free and beautiful. But we have lost the way, Greed has poisoned men's souls.

Checkout ;p A fun thing to do in the checkout line is to take one thing from the cart in front of you and see if they notice. Last week I took a baby.