Way Of Skinny Eat. Purge. Smile. Repeat

Moving On I never thought the anger would come, I never thought I could feel good again without you by my side, I never thought I'd love you less, I never thought I could fall in love with somebody else, I never thought I could love somebody just as much, -if not even more- than I loved you. You're out of my #life, You're no more a person I want to be with, You left me, for her. I'd like to say; Thank you.

Beautiful Hey, tell me. Do I have a sick mind? Am I not healthy? The bigger the number is, the more disappointment I feel. I hate to stand on top of that scale and see the number increase, growing and getting bigger each time I step on it. The guilt grows bigger as I eat something. I panic inside when I realise how much I’ve eaten during the day. Feeling the fat on my body, touching, stroking my skin and feel the lumps, the scars... Grabbing the fat with my hands and telling myself how fat I am, looking at myself in the mirror as I let the tears fall down my cheeks. Is it weird that I think being skinny, showing bones is beautiful? If I feel a bone on my body sticking out, I feel happy. I see my hands looking bony, I smile. I feel and see that my ribs stick out, I smile. I feel my hipbone stick out and I smile. ”Have you lost weight?” - That’s the best thing you can ever tell me. I become so happy that I can’t think about anything else for hours if you tell me that. That’s why, when it all becomes silent, that I worry. Why? Why won’t you say that sentence? Tell me, tell me how skinny I’ve become. It’s not hard, it’s just one sentence, right? I lift up my shirt, only far enough so I can see my stomach, if I pull up my shirt any more than that I will look bigger. So I pull it up to see what I look like in the mirror. The result is usually disappointment. I never really feel truly happy when I see myself. If I ever feel happy when I see my reflection it’s because I haven’t eaten even once during the day. So tell me, am I not beautiful? //Thoughts.

You. Right now my whole body's aching and I feel extremely tired. Not only that; but I also feel like crying. I've promised myself I wouldn't cry over you no more, I'm just wasting my tears on somebody who doesn't give a fuck what happens to me. "Have you stopped thinking about him?" - my friends ask me, "No, I haven't." - I say and they look down at the ground and go "Okay" then sigh. I wish I could say "About who?" when they ask instead. I miss you. Still, I wouldn't let you back into my #life even if I could. - I'm proud to be able to say that and not lie.

Skinny Girls I love going to bed hungry, If I do, I'll wake up in the morning feeling skinny. I lift up my pyjama to see my stomach, and there it is, my reflection. The one thing I've been feeling hate for for so many years, I see it. It's staring back at me. It examines my whole body, it sees me from my head to the very tips of my toes, taking it all in. As the eyes in the mirror examine me, like darts it hits my body, leaving me on the floor in pain. Skinny, skinnier, anorexic.