Civilian Name Porn stars, work out your civilian name by taking the name that people called you at school and adding your dad's surname.

If I had a pound for every time I thought about my wife, I'd probably start thinking about her.

Zombie Apocalypse The only way to survive a zombie apocalypse is to become a cameraman. They never die.

Creepypasta, anyone I think I'm going to try my hand at writing some creepypasta. It's hard to get inspired, though; I've been reading some creepypasta online and some of it is very good. A lot of it is suitably creepy and spine-tingling. I think I have a few ideas now! So, stay tuned for some creepypasta on my feed soon. I hope you enjoy it.

Machine I asked the personal trainer at the gym what machine I should use to impress the ladies. She looked me up and down and said, "Try the cash machine outside, you fat bastard."