iCreated My Own Beauty What you don't deal with in your younger years will torment you in your future. . . Looking back now at my younger years iCan't help but smile. . The battles iOvercame during my teenage years when everyone was hostile. . Why? because iWasn't like THEM. . iHad brown skin. . A small waist, big hips and thighs. . Call me fertile.. Ignorant people hate differences. . iTried not to be like them so iNever took offence. . iJust grew. . Mentally & Physically. . But see. . What's sad is they didn't. . Grow mentally. . They became easily swayed. . By the views of irrelevant folk & the media. . So their notion of beauty never remained constant it changed as society changed and as the media changed. . So did their appearances.. iBumped into a girl who teased me the most recently. . iFelt sorry for her as she was still trying to be someone's prototype based on what the media defined as beauty. . What made me laugh the most is she had got her lips injected with some rubbish. . Trying to be fuller as the person she once hated. . ME. . The "rubber lips" she once hated now she's paying money to have. . She was not so slim now as it was now cool to have a fuller derrière since Pipa. . So again she'd endured hours of pain under the knife paying for butt implants. . Looking at her chest . . iCould see the silicon firm breasts. . But this is the girl who vowed never to have breasts bigger than a C in sixth form. . "Models have small breasts" she always said whilst nibbling on some celery sticks.. When she saw me she exclaimed "You haven't changed a bit" . . iReplied "iDidn't need to I've always known who iAm even if it made anyone else uncomfortable" I refused to ever be the prototype for anything or anyone who sees perfection in photo shopped models. . I'll continue to live a healthy #lifestyle full of positivity & growth. . I have one #life & I'll make the most of it . . I'll invest money on my mind not on my looks. . I'll work with what iGot. . So don't be afraid to embrace the differences in others. . There's beauty in every one of us. . Don't be a cheap imitation that's always trying to fit into society's definition of beauty. . Find real beauty within you. . Beauty isn't what's shown on your TV screens. . The world is a big place. . Always question what's always imposed on you as beautiful or as ugly. . Find your own beauty. . & you'll find happiness x

Solitude Solitude. . . My place of comfort . . . That secret, still place which gives me peace. . . iBelieve this is where God lives. . . Deep inside us. . . Most times we spend so much time looking for answers in the world or in some sort of God . . . Forgetting that we are Gods. . . So shhhhhh silence. . . If we take a minute to listen to us. . . In that secret and quiet place. . . We'll find out that . . . Here is where God lives. That still quiet voice. . . You lose nothing by following it. . . So why not try a different route and listen to it for once. . . Even though it goes against our emotions and common sense. . . iBelieve that's how God speaks. . . In the quietness. . . In our solitude.

Changes #life changes when we change. . . Today iChoose to get better.

Pain It's inevitable. . . But it still finds us or our actions and choices create it. . . You can take paracetamol for a headache, or morphine for that really strong physical pain but how do you mend internal pain. . A broken heart? I've never been good with emotional or internal pain. . . It's always had me alter myself negatively so that I'm prepared for the next time it happens. . . I've turned cold & numb in the past. However now iCan say that iFeel pain & all iCan think about are ways to release it whilst also making myself better. iWrite this whilst my heart is full of pain. . . My eyes heavy because of sleepless nights but deep down inside me iHave some sort of calmness. . Nothing lasts forever a voice in my head tells me. . So iKnow I'm going to be better. To nurse this pain I've taken on the fitness route, I'll jog the pain out & I'll consume what's healthy. . . I'm done with fighting fire with fire. . . I have to start getting better & not bitter. . . Cos iAlways end up hurting myself. I don't know how long this will take. . . But trust me iKnow it'll get better. . And so will I. So for all the pain you've inflicted on me. . . iSay Thank you. . . Because though my eyes are teary at the moment . . . My emotional & physical state is under construction. You were just an instrument used to cut the diamond within. . So your time is up. . . I release you from my heart with no bitterness. . . iPray that karma never finds you, but iWish you peace, love and light instead. Thank you for helping the Universe create a dime such as me x

Imperfect Me. . See iGot tired of being lied to so iSold my television. Why? Because I'm just a woman like you, with imperfections. . . Yes stretch marks run down my thighs and buttocks. . But see when iSwitched on the television iDidn't see anyone who was like me. Just models with the smoothest skin, the thinnest waists and the whitest smiles. . iKnew iDidn't belong here with them. . So why would iKeep subscribing to a lie & to something iFailed to relate to. Yesterday as iLooked into the mirror trying to find another imperfection & blame it on the Internet because see even after selling a TV Im still haunted with images of "perfect" women on the internet . .thanks to their genius surgeons. iCan't run forever. . I'm not getting any younger. . iCan't shield my future offspring from it all. So. . iDecided to buy another TV . . Maybe 3D this time. . So Im able to see clearly & accept that yes though they aren't like me. . That is THEM and this. . This is me. If iDon't accept that. . How can iTeach my god daughters to love themselves? With every curve of imprecation I'm me. . There's something unique about me. . And guess what. . There's something unique about You too. . Yes you. Though you may struggle to find anyone like you when you put your TV on. .Just remember that cubic zirconia's are easier to find than rare Ocean dream diamonds. Stay healthy and hold your head up high. You're beautiful. . You're a Dime.