Past = Bittersweet
#opussweeklychallenge
The past year... One word- Bittersweet.
Bittersweet? Let me tell you why...
Unknowingly stupid and blind...I was in love- she had three kids that I also was in love with. I spent my last three years revolved around her. Engaged and bound to be married the past summer. My mind set to spend the rest of my #life with her. Even though we both had our flaws.. I may have hurt her a few times but that was three years ago, and I have been constantly punished for it for three years. Yet treated her like a queen. Gave her everything. Put up with her worse power and controlling behavior in the past year. Came to realization I had to put a stop to it despite how much I loved her. I couldn't live the way anymore. My #life was much more important than being in love with someone who mentally and emotionally abused me these years. When she does it again.. I left her, yes I left her.. Only a couple months before my graduation for my bachelors in psychology.. The person I thought who I would smile at whole through my ceremony.. Instead was the person I couldn't even look at all or take pictures with when she wanted to do so the whole time. I was lost, confused, and still in love with her. I did not know what to believe anymore. She gave me love she has never did for three years and wanted to work out but she broke and destroyed me.. It was all in my head during my last month of my undergraduate career ever throughout to the end of summer. Lost and confused. Got accepted into graduate school. Man, I blew it or maybe she did too or both of us, I still don't know to this day. Met someone very beautiful over the summer but was still in love with old her. Lost and confused.. One day I saw her controlling and threatening behavior got much worse. Realized she'll never change, just let her go.. shut her out fast. Changed my number, not just because of that but because she was stalking me, harassing me and threatening me. Graduate school just started.. Set up a civil protection order against her. She gets upset, finds out about the phone number change and the beautiful gal. She comes up with lies of me choking her and physically abusing her constantly for three years straight and sets up civil protection against me too. Funny thing, she made herself look so bad in the justice system, that I feel good about. But everything else.. I lost everything. Got asked to do a leave absence from the Graduate program. My kind of program is highly strict and I got asked to leave because of what I was going through with her. Gave up my job. Betrayed, heartbroken, and lost. Felt like I lost everything so fast. Her, her kids, our #life, graduate school, job, my place, and my town. When I say my town, I really mean, I left D.C. and moved to Arizona.. Not because I was trying to run.. But because of the environment there was no good.. Suicidal, I lost everything. She quickly became official with her new girlfriend that she has been seeing while trying to work things out with me. So dark all around me... about to die.. To survive, I moved to Arizona closer to my family. I cried literally every day, my heart was broken. The beautiful girl I met during this mess stood beside me. Powerful insecurities grew inside me. Stayed in touch. Flew in Arizona, went to Grand Canyon and fell in love. Dating, not official. Growing to know one other, taking our time. Had a different kind of Thanksgiving and Christmas, depressed because I was not with my family or old her or her kids but sweet being surrounded by people who really loves me.. Just different.. surrounded with too much love that I have never felt before. Learnt that it is what I deserve.. Starting off my year with a bang! Again, bittersweet.. No matter how much hard times I went through, I am the person I am today because of it and that I am forever grateful for.
My past story.. Only a few pages in my book.
