All about me After going through a rough few month, where i was in a pit of self pity and on a self destruction mission... I woke up one day with a seance of realisation. I realised that i am good person, i have amazing friends and family around me who are there to pick me up when I'm down. I've always told myself that i would never let a man get me down, i ended up in a seemingly never ending pit of darkness because of a man! How stupid could i be, A man who lied to me constantly, who pushed me away and had no respect for me, how could i love someone like that? Well, love is blind. Don't get me wrong it wasn't all bad, it started well and i fell hopelessly in love with him, I was crazy about him! I couldn't have been happier. Then he changed. But you know i can deal with the fact that people do change. People grow, and grow apart. It took me 6 months, countless tissues and a few to many bottles of vodka, plenty time with my friends and I've crawled out of the darkness and back in to the light that is my #life. My #life is perfect. what more could i ask for? I'm happy on my own, you know how can you expect someone else to love you when you cant love yourself. I don't need a man to make me happy. I find my own happiness in #life and maybe one day when I'm ready to have a man in my #life again he will share my happiness but until then, its all about me!

Self destructive Me. I can't take this anymore, I can't do anything right by anyone. All I do is let people down and push them away. Why do I even exist in this world, I'm no help to anyone... I just wish it would all end. Just be somewhere so perfectly peaceful where I can't hurt anyone. Really what's the point?

Solid Brick Wall When your heart gets broken the first thing you do is cry, then once you're done crying the hurt turns in to anger, you resent the person who broke your heart. You cut the off from your #life. Once you have began to heal, you meet someone new, someone unexpected. You know you like them, you know you want them, to let them in. To let them love you... But boom they hit a brick wall that you have spent many months building up to keep people out. I suppose then you have to make the conscious decision, do you let them in or do you push them away? Pushing them away always seems like the easier option but yet you still want them. Dilemma. What do I do? Make the decision to let them tear my wall down on the chance that they could possible hurt you, but they could also give you all the love you need in your #life. How do you know? How do you know what decision to make? I can't take anymore pain and hurt, I'm sick of people proving me right. When will I find the one person who can be patient with me. Be gentle and understand that I'm only one person who can't take it anymore.

My Boys My boyfriend is my world, his son is like my own. I love them both with all my heart and I would be so lost without them. I've finally found someone that makes me happy, I've finally found somewhere I belong. I know sometimes people get annoyed at me because I go on and on about my boys but, they have brought so much happiness to my #life they have made me who I am now, and I wouldn't change either of them for the world. I feel like they are my little family, my little support unit who are always there for me when i'm sad or down and always pick me up again and they give me the best cuddles. James is the kind of man that every girl wants, and i'm not just saying that because i'm hopelessly in love with him, but he makes me laugh everyday without fail, he makes me smile every hour of everyday. He holds me close and tight when I need it. He's perfectly unperfect, but he's perfect for me. Ladies I will say this, I'm only 20 going on 21 but I really have found my soul mate, the ying to my yang. And trust me it isn't easy finding the one, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your Prince Charming, but please don't give up hope because he is out there somewhere waiting for you, you may have to go through a lot of heart ache to find him but when you do... he will pick up all the pieces of your broken heart and put them back together perfectly and with such a loving touch, he will teach you to love and trust again. and every woman deserves a man like that... so keep on looking because i found mines. And i was luck enough to have to lovely boys walk into my #life at the same time, and now they are my world. <3

You Are Important. My mind is so, heavy. It feels like static. I can't think straight, I cant get my mind around it all. It's far too much for me to take in, its far too much for me to process. I don't what to know these things and I don't want to know I know them. I want to be able too shut everything out and forget. I just want everything to be back to the way it was before. I want you back to your old self I don't recognise you anymore. I cannot go on pretending anyone i'm going to explode soon. Why don't you hear what i'm saying? Why don't you take it in? Why do you shut me out? Like I don't matter, Like you don't care. I would do anything in my power to make you happy if I could, But you need to make big changes yourself. Its something that i cant do for you. I love you too much to see your hurting. Please do the right thing and make things better. Please. Your breaking my heart with everyday that goes by. Make things right. Make yourself happy! You are important and you need to remember that.