WALKS INTO A BAR... FREE DRINKS A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8. "But I already paid you. Don't you remember?" says the customer. "OK," says the bartender, "if you say you paid, then I suppose you did." The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt. The barkeep replies, "OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did." The customer goes outside and tells a friend how to get free drinks. The third man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs. The bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the -- " The man interrupts, "Don't bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

WALKS INTO A BAR... DOG DAY AFTERNOON A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, "Looks like you are having a bad day." The guy says, "Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so the boss fired me. To top it off, I came home to my wife screwing my best friend." The bartender says, "What did you say to your wife?" The guy says, "I told her to get out, and I never want to see her again." The bartender says, "What did you say to your best friend?" The guy says, "BAD DOG!"

WALKS INTO A BAR... GOT GRAPES? A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?" Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!" The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?" Confused, the bartender says no. "Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

What Is Perfection? Perfection is down to a persons interpretation, Others believe its a perfect beauty- but in actual fact it's a man made creation, If it is tried to be made reality it infects your heart making it become a cavity, A fantasy, It brings a competitive darkness to la heart, Creating a mysterious and blurry black art, The complexion soon becomes flawless, But if you over do it you become thoughtless, You loose #life and reality and go back to that plain fantasy. You know the one the deceased one which turns not just your heart also YOU in to a cavity.

The beginning of a start and the end of an ending A story I made up. Disturbingly, I am felt sorry for, as my childhood was invaded by the revolution. Instead I am foolish and dangerously curious! they praise him in this new world, but he was the beginning to the end. Unfortunately, I don't remember much, however by little help I have succeeded the 'jigsaw puzzle'. I recall listening to the television. They were discussing whether to bring forward the new pill- that cured almost anything! after an hour they decided... YES. Almost after two days all pills across the world were sold out. Screams for help occupied the darkness. Unexpected deaths were striking- the populations were decreasing. Apparently it was a rage created by the new pill, which was causing upsetting deaths, (such as suicide and murder). I didn't quite know what was going on; mainly because I had been locked in a cupboard by my own father! Scientists everywhere were working to their limits- time was running out. people cursed the scientist for the pill. However, not all hope was lost - or was it? Miles under the forever cursed scientist analised the pill- where he uncovered the mystery. The discovery was plain evil and disgusting! A parasite whom had burrowed into the pill infecting its purpose- to wipe out the human race. 24 hours: 1 billion people... left! The scared brain box worked deep in to the night. Until he found... a ... cure! In Order to start the curing process, he had to sacrifice himself. The parasites in the pills were all genetically part of a bigger 'thing'. The cure was acid! Shortly after he took the pill and jumped into a body sized bowl of acid. Luckily, the sacrifice wasnt a bad risk, however the remains in the lab were (very) messy. the parasites sudden leave were the best moment, but the deaths left people in massive devastation. Despite this, people luckily realised how much they depended on technology and the 'reliable stock' were banished. A new world was produced! So the story out of the story is the reason they praise him in this natural world, because he outstood the predator and put an end to the start. But as we say to this day, he put a start to a start!