Into The Storm ; Through The Tempest
Preface :
First off let me just start off by saying ,Jesus Is King!
He is my Lord and Savior , and I do not agree with any of the reasoning or views I once held in this book.
The only reason I put it out , was that God wants to use it as a testimony of His Power , Ability, and Willingness to Purify and Redeem those who cry out for relief and salvation in The Name of Jesus,may you find Him now.
Not very many believers have documentation of their #life before Christ. Before they died in that watery grave ,before they have had what I call their white rose burial,
When they laid their old self down to die on the cross with Jesus, of when they where born again anew creation in Jesus .
This book is filled with 7 to 8 years of a soul going through such turmoils and great sorrows' ,such anguish , such reprehensible profane perceptions , swearing and cursing written in such a sordid state..
None of this language I make habit of using today,but
At the time these collection of #poems where written they where common place in my lexicon at the time .
But their are hint within each #poem of my inner spirit man struggling , fighting and screaming out to God, crying out to Jesus . The truth was in there, trying to get out to break through the surface, but being suffocated by the evil, by the addiction , by the lies, and by a whole of of demonic oppression. A lot of these #poems where written under the influence of intravenous use of methamphetamine and injectable forms of opiates ,in combination in what the drug culture calls speed balling, cannabis , alcoholic living ,you name it I've tried it a lot of drug ,a lot of stuff.
But there is a fluidity to the #poems,
That I haven't seen any where else
Viz stream of consciousness writing,also there is a visceral ,gut wrenching truth to many of the thoughts,and feelings in these pages; a truth that is commonly disregarded and swept cleaning underneath the rug.
But let me tell you what Jesus has done for me since then. I'm close to three years sober off of meth the needle and no longer abuse any drugs or alcohol,
He has baptized me in the Holy Spirit's Fire, with evidence of speaking in tongues , I move In prophesy, and many people are healed through the Power of Jesus Christ, me being His conduit , He has healed many through me. I sing the loudest at church, I always got a Holy Spirit charged smile with joyous glee on my face ,
I feed the hungry, visit the sick, mentor youths in my neighborhood , and every where I go I spread the Joy of The Lord . And try to Jesus Loves you, God bless you, too as many as will receive it , I prophesy and pray boldly with confidence and Authority for people every where I go as The Spirit leads me.
My entire view of #life, and of all of you, humanity has drastically changed. God has given me so much I didn't deserve ,including hope for humanity ,because of what Jesus has done for us on Calvary, and how Great a salvation we have in Him ,may you find Him now.
He has given me hope for myself , and He really has changed me, forgiven me of so much , so my love and thankfulness for His Mercy and Blood ,His Sacrifice , and my true honest to God love for Him is greater than anyone or anything else on earth, the far off second fails in comparison to my sincere affection for Y'shua Messiah ,Jesus Christ.
He totally transformed my mind and my character ,
I look back at some of the #poems I had once written, and I'm honestly shocked, I'm deeply grieved in my spirit with deep and profound sorrow and sadness, but everything has a purpose,and everything is the the Design of
Lord Father God.
And if this book does anything, it won't be for the regular everyday faithful Christian servant, who's already found the Ultimate Truth in the Lamb Of God, it won't be for the righteous "it will be for the sick", it will be for those who are still on drugs struggling to get free,for those who are thinking of taking their own #life; and it will be there.
And they will be able to connect with the suffering and the injustices, between these pages . They will be able to connect with the agony, and the immense pain, the torment; that living in the dark brings us as image bearer of God.
A lot of views inside this boom of #poems,will shock, will disgust , and down right mortify a born again believer and reader, but remember this written from the perspective of a man who's still searching , who still is seeking Gods True Face, whom is seeking deliverance, struggling to find peace and purpose in a mad and evil world.
Who's picking truth from every possible angle, every way, not seeing righteousness in any living man , and human being breathing on the earth today, and becoming completely agonized over it.
There are times when you can see the Holy Spirit of Christ pushing through all the darkness that was entangling my soul .
And now I believe that poetry is a medium for all thoughts and feelings to be expressed ,not bottles up, or pushed down , or to be disregarded; uninhibited self expression , to be relinquished out of the soul .
And when somebody reads a #poem, and they touch on a little bit of that shared feeling of the poet, and a good #poem will make go like " wow" in reflective introspection,
"There's something in my soul that connects to those words"
And if your soul, if your heart connects to anything in a lot of these #poems...."your going through it."
If you think some of the morally gray #poems are cool , or (that's the way to be) .. "Your going through it."
All the #poems in here, are related to suffering in one way or another ,and a lot of them from deep deep demonic oppression. That I've been faced with my whole #life , and in that place, "that's a real bad place to be"
But I thank God I'm no longer in that dark place.
I thank God I can sing Him a hallelujah ! And worship Him In Spirit and in Truth. I thank God I can speak His praises,
And praise and rejoice on my keyboard to Him. That I can get into that secret place in my heart , and just "be",
Jesus knows my heart, but many of you don't know what I once was, and this book will let you know , how horrible I really was , before the light of The Lord came to live and Shine through me , and you can see it .
You'll see the fight in the battle war, the enemy trying to suffocate that light , you can witness the enemy trying to warp me, and mix up my head, and twist my thought and feeling away from my Father in heaven, to make me view God In anything less than Perfect and Holy, which He is, and which is the only way really to view Him who gave all #life.
But this book get right down and touches on the heart of man , the heart that is wicked, the heart of man that is deprived, and the heart of man the is seeking true righteousness , and just being ripped apart , about all the evil around him, when you read this book , as I have said before this book is not for , the feint of heart, or for those who are easily offended, this isn't a book that will make you feel happy and bubbly on the inside, these #poems are tragic , written by a man in the depth of his own personal Gehenna .
Screaming out for Truth, screaming out and crying out with his whole heart and soul for the Love of God, looking for God, who God was , who God Really IS, only comes from Jesus !
You can't take any other gate or way, and I found my self at the WRONG gate . And let me tell you something I still suffer the consequences and retribution of it , by what my sins wrought me , was death, for my choice of where I went to go looking for knowledge ; I couldn't love with the fact that all this horrible evil exists , and I went straight up into the darkness, and SCREAMED IN ITS FACE! And said "WHY DO YOU EXIST?!!", "WHY DO YOU EXIST.!.."
And I guess the answer was so God just looks all that much better in comparison , and so I can resist it, and shine for Jesus all the more brightly,
Before I didn't know, I was torn at the fence , God has a Right Hand The Victorious Right Hand of God Jesus,
And a Left Hand, it does left hand stuff, He is the beginning and the end , He is #life, and He also uses death, as He says many times in scriptures,and I didn't know where the Father wanted me , because with to much knowledge ,.. Comes a whole lot of heart ache, but I know now God want me alive to live In Him, God wants me to be a living testimony,He wants me to share that Joy, to share the smiles and the laughter .
But He also wants me to let the world know what precisely He saved me from.
And for the world to know what he and saved me from .
I'm leaving my self vulnerable, leaving myself open to ridicule , I leave my self open , to every negative thought you might think about me that will come from many people,because it's going to be in direct opposition to how I think now , or to how any healthy Christian person thinks who has a relationship to Jesus ,
But what He saved me from cannot be seen in the physical , he didn't physically heal my deaf ears , or physically open my blind eyes , or grow a limb out on me , or heal tumors in me .
He saved my from an internal death, of #depression and suicide, depraved mind, and wicked thinking , and horrible self destructive thoughts.
Before you find God or He finds you, you know that God exists , but before you you really Have that real communion that relationship through and with Jesus ,
You fall into the abrasive abysmal nihilism , this nihilism , not even being an atheist , if you don't have the true honest to God relationship with Y'shua Messiah, King Jesus, The Lord of Heaven and Earth , you find yourself in a place of of nihilism of nothingness,nothing had meaning , your #life has no purpose,all this stuff going on is just madness,it's just chaos ," and that is the devil at work."
Cause God is not the author of Confusion, He is Shalom,
He is peace, He is Perfect Design .
And you see that towards the #poems scattered and at the end of the book, and through it you'll see #poems dedicated directly to The Lord the glorifying of his name , which I hope every #poem will be a testimony to that... But every one isn't ,
So be warned , that this is a profane book written by a once wretched man, and with all the horrible things that Jesus has cleansed me from, in it, but there is a lot of truth in the heart calling out to be healed, truth in the soul crying out to be saved, documenting everything that the devil is attacking him with, but Jesus IS GOD.!
And the Father of all Creation, sent Him to earth , so we could know that He is Good, Truly Good, and the He Loves us and that He has Mercy and Grace in Abundance
For us through Jesus , may you find Him now.
That He can transform our entire hearts and bodies and minds , sometimes all at once , instantaneously
But sometimes
We have to be patient and wait on His promises to be fulfilled through us
And
Go Through The Tempest.
