Egg Table Tennis What happens if you play table tennis with a rotten egg? First it goes ping, then it goes pong.

French Suicides People on Paris sometimes try to kill themselves by jumping in the river. They are clearly in Seine.

Car Parks There are too many thefts from multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many levels.

14 Year Old Escort In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as; "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just fucked a 14 year old escort". The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been confiscated and the wife has gone to her mum's.

Angela Merkel Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Athens airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. "Occupation?" "No, just here for a few days."