Someone Else's Wedding This day keeps stretching on like pizza cheese Or really good elastic The bride looks strange, The groom hung over.. They suit each other And with thoughts of cheese The wedding band has started Oh no... Take me home country roads On accordion, no less Makes me wonder if I survived the drive... And occasionally wish I hadn't... The bass is playing 'A', the accordion 'B' and I think the guitar's in 'C' Words have failed me, I give up on humanity.. :-(

The Chair Upstairs we have a chair With a back, a seat and three legs It's not a laughing matter, because it feels betrayed... No lion tamer accident, Nor bar room brawl and bash There was no chainsaw killer That removed this piece of ash A simple mishap this, An error in manufacture What should have been so sturdy Well, we discovered, that it would fracture So now it sits there useless A forlorn and sad reminder Of when Sharon's at the table It should be behind her...

Bess There was a black Labrador called Bess Who jumped up on my wife's wedding dress With a pull of her claw She proceeded to draw A picture that's a bit of a mess For Bess, black lab, 1

Between Sock Drawer And Foot My socks, I know not where are they It seems to me they've gone away I hope they enjoy their time in the sun While I must get some other ones!

This Cupboard This cupboard smells like my boots. Not like roses but like foots. It's turning my nose up, Curling my toes up, So I'll use it for hiding my loots!! The burglar will certainly beware Of the smell coming from in there... He'll make his way past, Travel quite fast, And my fortune I won't have to share!