The First One Dear.... For all men, there is nothing more they would rather do than spend time with their loved one. You've been working all week and the only thing that's got you through is the thought of a lovely relaxing day off with "the better half" (how people find this saying funny still riles me, but alas I digress). The day arrives and she suggests popping out to the shops, "lakeside, cause it makes a change and they have a primark", you say ok, but as long as we are done before lunch and I don't have to come in primark.... You get to lakeside and you have no idea how but you're parked in the car park outside primark so you have to at least walk through it all of a sudden. "whilst you're here you can hold the basket" basket?!? BASKET! I knew it, she ain't popping nowhere, this is a fucking big shop, she had no intention of popping in anywhere and now you have the basket you're officially involved. The brain suddenly thinks of ways to show you're bored. Now ladies, if you're man is walking and checking his phone/watch or the tell tale one... Yawning, he is trying to show you that you are doing something that you know he doesn't like!! Yet you choose to put him through it. Its the same as him sleeping with your BFF. Imagine walking in on your fave gal pal reverse cowboying your partner and instead of angrily saying "oi bitch, why do something that displeasures me... when you know it displeasures me?" you try to save his feelings (which he wouldn't deserve) by subtly yawning hoping he'll stop. Upon realising he now knows your bored and he now appears to be slamming your mate just to piss you off, you do the only thing left..... You try to embarrass him by messing around, you might even sit on the floor (something I've never done.... On the floor of john Lewis, whilst my torturer is choosing between duvet filing and togs). The strangest thing then happens, something only a woman can do, she is now angry with you for causing a scene?!? She lured you shopping by saying you was only making a flying visit, she tricked you into walking through the shop of lost souls, where every man is wearing the same look, she knew you'd carry her basket of clothes (cause you're a gent and you've been raised proper) and she's done this knowing you don't wanna be there, not one bit. So you act out by yawning, nothing more than a silent protest (not quite burning monk proportions, but its a start) and this is greeted with a standard " you always ruin our days off together, we don't do anything I wanna!". Sorry love? I must of misheard, you seem to have put the blame on me there, when you know this is the reaction that greets shopping. Also ladies allow me to clear something up for you all, a big part of the initial attraction to you would have been the way you look. Now unsurprisingly this would have included your clothes. These clothes you were wearing were choose by you because you thought you looked good, your man obviously agreed. So it should be a given that your man llikes your sense of style, he may have even said to you "hey, I like your sense of style". Bearing this in mind, do you think you need his opinion or even that he has an opinion to give? I know you'd love him to have one or your man is different... well tough and he ain't. If women want independence and all that 21st century nonsense, then choose your own clothes, in any case, the only answer you'll get when trying on clothes is the one that we get him out of the shop the fastest. Let me leave you with this... The next time you get the hump because he is ruining your day off ask yourself this, what would my reaction be if I had to sit through back to back super Sunday matches and have to take an interest?

God? Every day many people go about their days moaning that #life ain't fair and they are hard done by. A lot of days I wake up and before I even flinch I think to myself, "what's the point?" luckily I have my good lady, that's my reason for getting up. But all too often people are resigned to their fate and all they can do is rant. Is that all there is to #life? Do we have no choice in our destinys? Should we follow our paths, or blaze a new one? The vast majority of people don't believe in the divine and there is no God and we are all alone in this world, if this is the case, then who's to blame for their seemingly pointless existence? Surely them, unless they, like everyone else must be, are a victim or circumstance. Sometimes I wish I was religious, I wish I had faith, unquestionable trust that someone was watching out for me, that no matter what happened it was gods will and I would ultimately be hunky doory. But I believe that we and we alone choose our lives and we must be accountable. If I moan I'm overweight, who is responsible? If someone is unhappy with their partner? Who can change that? Work sucks? What are you doing to change that? The most common argument against god is, "how can he exist if there is so much suffering?" "if god is good then why so much fighting in his name?" both reasonable points. But what kills people in wars? Some religious extremist trying to strike someone down by channeling god or by a gun or bomb? Now who created them? Good ol' science. Its not for me to say there's no god, but unfortunately I only believe in facts, shit that I can see or touch. I know the earth is millions of years old, because there is proof, my mind won't let me believe in miracles, just extreme cases of good fortune and coincident. I think that's the problem, when things are tough or not going your way, you won't allow yourself to believe things will be ok, because you think its down to you alone to make things better and you think you aren't capable. We all should have a little more faith, of course we are in control of our lives, we are responsible for our own actions, but what if we allow ourselves to be helped along the way, by a greater power or something else? What's the worse that can happen? What if god created science? Kind regards Shane

The #poem with no name... His first day at school So eager and keen to learn it all Eyes so blue and bright Mum kisses him hugging with all her might Off he skips into class She wipes her eyes at years at years gone to fast On the day of his sixth birthday All his mates invited to play But he only hangs about with susie When it comes to friends she's super choosy They are inseparable, always are giggling They huddle on the couch toes a'wiggling Christmas time, ten years old He only wants one present his parents are told For susie to be his best friend forever And that they can always play together That shouldn't be a problem son We're glad you have a special someone He takes his first steps into teenage years Sitting with susie he discusses his fears That he loves her with all his heart And that one day they'll be torn apart She holds his face as not to miss Their magical, yet fumbled first kiss One summer holiday Susie has to move away Fifteen years young He stands in the setting sun Crying for his best friend A friendship made to end Out on the town celebrating his twenty first His drinking so hard, this year has been the worst He received some news that struck him dumb A tragic accident that took his mum She was taken so fast, could only wonder why That she passed before he could say goodbye That same year he graduates from university Off to pursue his dreams he the city Suddenly he sees the most beautiful thing The girl who left that made his eyes sting Walking towards him up the suddenly unimportant street He runs towards her so eager to greet They go for a drink Barely able to think They share stories of lost youth Laying bare their souls in moments of truth They spend the whole night embracing Their future together now they're facing A few years pass he's been planning a surprise To make her his first love his bride Surrounded by candles and presented with a single rose Her skin in the soft lighting, glows So full of love she agrees to be his wife Knowing that forever she'll be his #life He rushes home from work Susie greets him with an almighty smirk They are filled with so much joy Will it be a gorgeous girl or a beautiful boy Their family growing by two little feet In nine months time their lives complete The day finally is here for them to meet the new arrival Quickly in the car they speed to the hospital Taken straight to the delivery suite Eagerly awaiting two tiny hands and feet Suddenly the room fills with frantic faces, etched in panic so strong He fades to the back of the room, something desperately wrong The baby is rushed out the room Leaving him only to assume That unfolding is his worst nightmare He holds susies hand and strokes her hair They hold each other, crying silently But inside he knows, feel pain so violently He is called to see his new little miracle He cradles her, was no need to worry at all She is so perfect and small The most beautiful girl of all He vows to look after her forever The three of them, one family together On his return, susie was sleeping A nurse at the back of the room was weeping He shook her gently to say the baby was ok The nurse said quietly, susie has passed away There was simply too much internally awry Im so sorry you never had the chance to say goodbye So on that warm summers day He wept where his beloved susie lay Their forever was still so young He stood in the setting sun Crying for his soulmate and best friend A true love made to end He returns home to his waiting dad Still feeling nothing else but sad How can I care for this baby If she killed my susie maybe Please don't blame this little one It was just that her mums time had come Four years quickly passed As you get older they go so fast His little girl on her first day at school So eager and keen to learn it all He holds her tightly feeling woozy Have a great day my darling susie